Feminist Tests To Judge Your Movies By

Feminist Tests To Judge Your Movies By

When you're not quite sure how to describe that pesky bit of sexism that drove you crazy all through the movie.
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How many times have you sat down to watch a movie, full of excitement and love for the silver screen, and then walked away feeling hurt and devalued because of one thing in particular: the women? Or rather, the women as written by men. Or lack of women. Whether she was reduced to a nameless sex symbol, seemed to do nothing but support the man, or just wasn't there at all there's many reasons why a woman might walk away from a movie feeling hurt and unappreciated. With all that sexism to contend with, there's no reason to not educate yourself on exactly what it is that's upsetting you. Finding a name for the way the movie failed you can help you explain to others why it's so harmful. Luckily, there's a few tests you can use on this summer's latest blockbusters to see just how well they treat their female audience.

1. The Bechdel Test

A test near and dear to the hearts of sapphic feminists everywhere, Alison Bechdel's test originates from a comic published in the '80s, which details a three part rule. Firstly, the movie must have at least two women. Secondly, the two women must talk to each other. Finally, the conversation must be about something besides a man. The importance of this rule is that in the media women are often portrayed as only there to support the man with no story of their own. It also addresses heteronormativity. Many modern movies fail this test such as "Deadpool," "Kung Fu Panda 3," and "Ex Machina." If you want to know what movies pass and fail, there's a website dedicated to telling you just that.

2. The Mako Mori Test

Named after a "Pacific Rim" character, the Mako Mori test proposes an alternative to the Bechdel test. This test focuses not on women conversing with each other, but with the story of at least one woman. The rules of the test are that the movie must have at least one female character, that character must get her own narrative arc, and the arc cannot be about the man's story. While people still argue over whether or not "Pacific Rim" was feminist or not, the test hold a great potential. Think about female characters you've seen in movies recently, how many of them had stories outside being romantically involved with the male lead?

3. The Sexy Lamp Test

Comic book writer Kelly Sue DeConnick is credited for first mentioning this test, quoted as saying: “if you can remove a female character from your plot and replace her with a sexy lamp and your story still works, you’re a hack." This test determines whether or not a woman is treated as a literal object throughout the movie. While watching the movie, think to yourself, "is this women important to the plot, or could she easily be removed or replaced?" If she can be replaced by a sexy lamp then that movie has officially failed the test.

4. The Furiosa Test


The Furiosa test is a simple and enjoyable test. Named after Imperator Furiosa from "Mad Max: Fury Road," the test demands a movie do one thing and one thing alone: make men upset. Just as upset as they were the day it was revealed that the newest installment of the "Mad Max" series focused on a woman saving other women from rape and servitude. If the movie has men's rights activists moaning about "women taking over" or "ruining everything" or "political correctness winning over good writing" when none of these things are true, then this is a movie you might wanna see over and over again. One movie that has recently passed this test is the new "Ghostbusters," which had men saying "you can't do that! What if men did to women movies what you did to our "Ghostbusters?"" The answer, of course, being: you've already done that to every movie ever, so we're going to enjoy the ultra rare female dominated cast.

There are many other tests out there for feminists to judge their movies by, such as the Finkbeiner test. Every day women come up with new ways to point out the flaws in the movies that fail them and celebrate the movies that treat them like human beings, instead of lamps. It may be hard to only watch movies that pass these tests, so don't feel like you have to limit yourself to only the purely feminist. We're making progress now even if we don't have perfection, so feel free to sit down and watch "The Avengers" guilt-free. Just keep in mind that Black Widow sure isn't being treated well by the men that write her.

Cover Image Credit: Vulcan Post

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37 Drake Lyrics From 'Scorpion' That Will Make Your Next Instagram Caption Go Double Platinum

Side A makes you want to be single, Side B make you want to be boo'd up.

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We all knew Scorpion was going to be the summer banger we wanted. However, Drake surprised us with two sides of an album and two sides of himself. Mixing rap and R&B; was genius on his part, so why not dedicate 37 of his lyrics to our Instagram captions?

1. "Don't tell me how knew it would be like this all along" — Emotionless

Definitely a "I'm too good" for you vibe.

2. "My mentions are jokes, but they never give me the facts" — Talk Up

This one's for my haters.

3. "I wanna thank God for workin' way harder than Satan" — Elevate

For when you're feeling blessed.

4. "I promise if I'm not dead then I'm dedicated" — March 14

In Drake's story about his son the world knows about now, we get a lyric of true love and dedication

5. "My Mount Rushmore is me with four different expressions" — Survival

6. "Pinky ring 'til I get a wedding ring" — Nonstop

7. "I gotta breathe in real deep when I catch an attitude" — 8 Out of 10

This first line of the song is about to be spread on the gram like a wildfire

8. "Heard all of the talkin', now it's quiet, now it's shush" — Mob Ties

9. "California girls sweeter than pieces of candy" — Sandra's Rose

This is gonna have every girl who has ever stayed in Cali all hot and heavy, watch it.

10. "I think you're changing your mind, starting to see it in your eyes" — Summer Games

Y'all know how these summer games go

11. "Look the new me is really still the real me" — In My Feelings

When you've got to profess that you've changed 200%

12. "Only beggin' that I do is me beggin' your pardon" — Is There More

13. "Shifted your focus, lens lookin' jaded" — Jaded

14. "Back and forth to Italy, my comment section killin' me" — Can't Take a Joke

Necessary for when you've got people hyping you up already

15. "People are only as tough as they phone allows them to be" — Peak

Y'all can't have this one, I'm stealing it

16. "Work all winter, shine all summer" — That's How You Feel

Put in the work so you can flex on 'em, summer 18

17. "Blue faces, I got blue diamonds, blue tint, yeah" — Blue Tint


18. "I stay busy workin' on me" — Elevate

19. "Ten of us, we movin' as one" — Talk Up

The perfect reason to get the largest group picture you've had on your gram

20. "October baby for irony sake, of course" — March 14

This statistically applies to 1/12 of y'all reading this, so take that as you will (we October babies are the best)

21. "She had an attitude in the summer but now she nice again" — Blue Tint

22. "I know you special girl 'cause I know too many" — In My Feelings


23. "Gotta hit the club like you hit them, hit them, hit them angles" — Nice for What

24. "She said 'Do you love me?' I tell her, 'Only partly,' I only love my ____ and my ____ I'm sorry" — God's Plan

If you haven't used this one yet, get to it

25. "But I'm blessed I just checked, hate me never met me in the flesh" — I'm Upset

26. "It's only good in my city because I said so" — 8 Out of 10

Follow this up with a location and shoutout your hometown

27. "My haters either on they way to work or they arrived" — Can't Take a Joke

28. "I always need a glass of wine by sundown" — Final Fantasy

Has Drake ever been more relatable?

29. "It's your f***in' birthday. Happy birthday" — Ratchet Happy Birthday

Let's go get kicked out of an Applebee's

30. "I move through London with the Eurostep" — Nonstop


31. "I stopped askin' myself and I started feelin' myself" — Survival

Mood all summer 18

32. "They keep tryna' get me for my soul" — I'm Upset

33. "I'm tryna see who's there on the other end of the shade" — Emotionless

34. "Only obligation is to tell it straight" — Elevate

35. "It don't matter to me what you say" — Don't Matter to Me


This line from the King of Pop (MJ) will give you chills. R.I.P.

36. "I'm the chosen one, flowers never pick themselves" — Sandra's Rose

37. "Say you'll never ever leave from beside me" — In My Feelings

Couple goals, amirite?

Cover Image Credit:

@champagnepapi / Instagram

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"That Summer" Revisits The Danger Behind Delusional nostalgia

The eccentric mother-daughter duo from "Grey Gardens" reveal a different side to them in a new documentary.

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"Grey Gardens" is a documentary that follows the eccentric lives of former East Hampton socialites, "Big Edie" and "Little Edie" Beale. The mother-daughter duo, who are relatives to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, made headlines in 1972 when their deteriorating estate became a target to health inspectors and was deemed unlivable due to the grotesquely dangerous environment. The once-grand mansion was now home to numerous wild animals, with abandoned dusty rooms filled with animal feces human waste and fleas. Despite their circumstances, Big and Little Edie acted and spoke like two performers putting on a show, reenacting their favorite musical numbers, singing at operatic volume and engaging in melodramatic squabbles.

Following the film's release, "Grey Gardens," was highly revered as a pioneer within the documentary genre and gained a cult following, mostly due to the lively personas of Big and Little Edie. The documentary sparked several revivals and interpretations that include Broadway musicals and HBO biopics.

A new film, entitled "That Summer," serves as a prequel to "Grey Gardens," as never-before-seen footage reveals the devastating fall of the Beale family and the psychological turmoil the mother and daughter suffer from. A photographer and family friend, Peter Beard and the Beale's niece, Lee Radziwill, act as narrators for the documentary. Both try to make sense of the Beales' situation, providing behind-the-scenes facts and anecdotes. When we are initially introduced to the Beale family in "That Summer," we learn that Peter Beard and Lee Radziwill are the first visitors that the estate has welcomed in five years.

The documentary repeatedly rolls clips of the Beales under emotional distress while trying to appear ready and presentable for the cameramen. Their fixation on appearance and beauty is a common motif throughout the documentary, regardless of their dilapidated surroundings. The obsessive primping and fussing is a symbol of the Beales' toxic nostalgia for the past; their past being the glorious post-World War I era in which Little Edie was busy socializing in East Hampton's debutante circuit and Big Edie was seriously pursuing a singing career.

The now-aging beauties still take care of themselves, whether it be applying lipstick or dieting- the fixation is endless and deeply affects their outlook on life. For instance, when Little Edie stares into the camera and expresses her deep unhappiness about living in Grey Garden, her mother interjects. "You should get up and make yourself beautiful. That's what I do," says Big Edie. She elaborates and advises her daughter that she'll never know who she is going to meet; she might meet her future husband for example. "Yeah. It's all I need, a new husband," replies Little Edie through a forced smile and pained expression.

In her narration, Lee Radziwill explains how gifted and talented Little Edie was in her youth: a Macy's model and Harvard graduate who aspired to become a Hollywood star. However, Little Edie had to return to Grey Gardens, after relentless begging of her mother, who was ill and recently divorced at the time. Lee Radziwill illustrates that Big Edie essentially "locked up" her daughter for twenty years and the duo was inseparable.

Despite the delusions, isolation, arguments, and filth, Big and Little Edie depicted the significance in being creative, imaginative, humorous and entertaining while persevering through devastating occurrences. Peter Beard appropriately summarizes the two individuals: "A great inner poetry. Bringing up new ideas, talking to the cats. It was always amazing. They were in a dream world, and it was okay."

"That Summer" is available on Google Play and Amazon.

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