As most of you have probably already figured out by reading my articles- I am a feminist. While I realize that word may come with a negative connotation (extremists and people who give feminism a bad name are altogether another story and will not be directly addressed here), I wear that label proudly.
So what is feminism all about? Well, feminism to me is about being free to make the decisions we want to make without having our gender attached to it. A good example of this would be the extremely sexist language that can be found in the Rio Olympics right now. Instead of "[insert woman here] brings home another gold!" the headline is "wife of NFL quarterback and mother of two wins a medal". Some of you following the drama surrounding these headlines may think we are overreacting to a small issue. But all we want is to be able to do something without our gender roles continuing to define us.
So, I am sure you are familiar with the sometimes cynical mentality posts posing as feminist say. Maybe not quite this bluntly, but around this ballpark: "screw men! we can take care of ourselves and don't need anyone!" As an aforementioned feminist, who also happens to have a boyfriend, sometimes I find these posts troubling.
You see, the problem doesn't lie within not wanting a partner. That's completely understandable. Some people don't have the time or money for it, or just simply lack the romantic or sexual attraction required for your typical relationship. That's completely fine! If you want to be financially independent and not have to rely on others to help you financially, I completely get it. Feminism is the radical idea that women have every wherewithal to be just as successful as men. So that's not the problem I have with relationship-related comments like this.
The problem that I have with it is that feminists need to know that it is completely okay if you are in a relationship. Heck, it's even perfectly fine if you are relying on your partner for financials. Feminism is about choice. There's hardly anything wrong with wanting your partner to take care of you financially. Or for him to drive you around. What the problem is is when someone comes along and tries to take away your choice. I choose to let someone help me through my emotional problems and be with someone who makes me really happy. Not always the case for people. Some people are happier on their own and that's just fine with me.
Feminists, be nice to your fellow feminists, be kinder to each other. Don't judge another woman's journey if you have not lived it, seen it, or breathed it. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean I'm a bad feminist, or I'm weak. It simply means that I chose to spend my time on this wonderful person who decided to spend time with me.
