Lately, I've ben reading, okay I guess a better word would be "devouring," the book Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay. Because of my predisposition of not being able to put down a book until I've read every single word contained in its pages, I've been carrying it in my backpack, per usual, and reading it when I have a few minutes to spare. However, I find myself looking over my shoulder when I read this book around campus, because I know the word "feminist" has undergone a ton of scrutiny, especially among the circles I see represented at Hope. I find myself making sure there are certain people, or types of people, who cannot see the title of my book, because I know the word "feminist" will make their blood boil.
There's a reason Roxane Gay is one of the few feminist authors I read, and why I've wanted to read this collection of essays in general: The title. I've always felt like I was failing my fellow women by wanting certain things. I accept chivalry when it's offered. I want love, comfort, a family. I won't care if my spouse/ life partner/ whatever we call each other makes more money than I do, as long as our needs are met. I've felt like I was failing the feminist culture for years because I want to be a wife someday. I want to be a mother some day. I'm not actively pursuing either of these dreams, because I realize this is the time to focus on myself.
Reading this book, and conversations I've heard since then, has made me realize that there is such a skewed view of what being a feminist means in this day and age. 100 years ago, being a feminist meant fighting for your right to vote, and making sure that if you had to end your marriage, or didn't get married, you would be okay. Yes, steps have been made, but there's still so much more that can be done. Today, being a feminist doesn't mean that one wants women to get special treatment over men: it just means we want to be treated the same. Women don't want to be put up on a pedestal- we're already on one, just for different reasons.
Then there are the more personal reasons: To me, feminism means I can walk down the street without fear of being catcalled (Yeah, people need to stop romanticizing that, it's not fun). It means I can be like that woman on YouTube and call out those cat callers, without fear of something worse happening. It means I can walk back to my apartment late at night without having to be hyper aware of my surroundings. It means women are given the same amount of respect that men are, without the expectation of something in return.
Maybe the word "misogynist" is thrown around too much, but it's honestly the only word that encompasses the meaning. Maybe if people better understood the meanings of words like "feminist" and "misogynist," they wouldn't be so bothered when people used them, because sometimes, one has to use the word that gets their emotions. Maybe if people actually opened their eyes and saw more then the extreme feminists, I wouldn't have to read my book under the table in public places. The misuse of words isn't what's dividing people: It's ignorance and the refusal to look at issues, like gender inequality, beyond what affect you.
