Let me preface this article by stating that I do not believe every person who disagrees with feminist ideals truly understands what feminism means, how it works on a political and social level, or how they indirectly benefit or are wounded by the belief that feminism is harmful or overly inflated.
Also, I would like to point out that individual security and independence is not a reflection of the security and independence of all women. You can feel perfectly confident and safe as a woman, but your neighbor may be harassed at her job daily. Finally, feminism is a movement that belongs to everybody. You do not have to identify as a female to be a feminist.
With that said, I am completely, entirely, irrevocably, wholly tired of people saying that they aren't feminists.
Feminism. Noun. The belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (famously known for her contributions to Beyonce's self titled album) says in her talk titled "We Should All Be Feminists", "I am angry. Gender, as it functions today, is a grave injustice. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change. But, in addition to being angry, I am also hopeful because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings to make and remake themselves for the better."
Feminism exists everywhere, but for this article, I would like to focus on feminism in the United States because it is what I know and it is what I feel the most qualified to speak on behalf of.
Feminism, as it is defined, stands for the equality of all people, regardless of gender, so why is it so heavily resisted? Why are so many people afraid of calling themselves feminism? It is because, from a young age, people are taught that feminism means that you're taking something away from a man who deserves it; That feminism means that you hate men, hate yourself, or that you just want something to complain about.
However, feminism couldn't be further from any of those things. Feminism means loving people, regardless of gender, so much that you want them to have the best possible opportunities that they can have. It means telling your daughter, when she is pushed by a boy in her class, that it isn't because he likes her because violence is not and should never be equated to love.
It's about teaching girls that loving men and loving yourself are both okay, that you don't have to sacrifice one to have the other. It's about loving your femininity but also not allowing yourself to be defined by it.
It means telling your son that harming anyone, regardless of gender, is never acceptable. It means feeling safe to walk home at night. It means equal pay for equal qualifications. It means not being discouraged in school because "boys are good at math and girls are good at art". It means telling your child that it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel. It's about not stifling the parts of someone that make them human.
It means questioning rapists, not rape victims. It means raising boys to not beat their wives, not raising girls to know when to leave. It means standing up for all women, including women of color, trans-women, women who don't have vaginas. It means that a transgender woman who doesn't want to get surgery is still a woman. It's about adolescent girls not starving themselves to look pretty. It's means wearing makeup when you want and not when you don't.
I think that people get confused with individual benefits of feminism and the overarching reach of the movement. When a person who is secure in themselves and the life that they lead hears about the pillars that feminists stand for, they are inclined to think that they don't need feminism and therefore, it shouldn't exist.
However, feminism is about more than just individual benefit. It is about the ways in which we, as humans, can change the way we raise our children and the way we treat each other to work towards a world that is more fair.
It's about fairness. It's about safety. It's about happiness. It's about upholding the work that began by people before you for generations and generations. The women and men who sacrificed their lives so that you could one day even have the option to refuse them.
Ultimately, it's your choice if you choose to identify as a feminist. But just know that having the option in the first place is already a benefit from the very system that you're discarding.
