Opposites attract, a phrase that had grown dull on my ears throughout high school. Although it's scientifically proven, I never assigned it much gravity for my life. That was up until the first two months of my freshman year of college. Now, it is the phrase I cling to.
I am a strong-willed, very opinionated, highly extroverted girl with the mentality of a showman. I was always labeled as "intimidating" to those around me, but I didn't really care. I adopted the mindset that I would only be approached by those guys who were as outgoing as I was, if not more. They were the only ones that would be able to handle my personality, I concluded. You could say that I developed a "type". Yet when you develop a type when you don't even truly know yourself, you can't rely on it. My "type" was the complete opposite of the guy that I fell in love with.
He is soft-spoken, carefully choosing his words in a conversation. He much prefers listening to you talk rather than to dominate the conversation for himself. Although he can talk in front of a crowd, he is more confident in a one on one setting. I remember the first time we met, he did not say a word. We were in a group with three other friends who are pretty extroverted as well, so he sat diagonally across from me and observed. In that moment, the girl who was labelled "intimidating" in high school was now the one who was intimidated. I was confused and intrigued at the same time. This wouldn't be the only time this would happen.
Falling in love with the quiet one has taught me to love openly and to love through multiple perspectives. I realized that there are many different brands of love, not just the one I had attached to my understanding of love. The quiet one tends to love differently than what society has us believe all should love.
The quiet one's love proves the phrase "actions speak louder than words" to be true, mainly because words are not his key resource to expressing their feelings. A quiet guy in love will not send you the long paragraphs of adoration that the media glorifies because it is not natural for him. Instead, he will make sure to take your hand in public, letting you know that he is proud to be seen with you. He will share his interests with you, maybe introducing you to his music or keeping you up to date with his favorite sport teams. The quiet ones are romantic, but in a different sense. He cares about the story behind the person that he loves, so he might ask questions that spark you rambling on about your past. He wants you to vent to him, to lay on your deepest thoughts, your fears, your dreams. A quiet guy's love is the harmony of friendship and romance.
He prefers to keep his emotions as a secondary focus. He uses logic over emotion and can be your steady rock. No matter the situation, he will always find a positive way to look at it. "I'll be okay," he would say. "I always am."
Loving a quiet guys has taught me the truth of love. It is not about finding someone who adores your every move and worships you like a goddess like the media would have us to think. Love is about being real with someone. It's not about bathing your love in words dipped in honey, but making sure that you allow the other person to be comfortable in who they are. You push each other to be better versions of who they were when you first fell in love. You see the ugliest side of a person as they see yours and you chose to stand by their side. Loving a quiet guy taught me that love is not just a feeling, but a team effort.
But when loving the quiet one, you need to keep some things in mind. If you are like me, sometimes silence can be unnerving. It's that void that you think speaks volumes, when in reality, for a quiet guy it is merely just part of their daily routine. Do not read into them not talking as much in a conversation. I used to think that his silence was his disinterest, but in fact, it was quite the opposite.
Because he is quiet, it can be easy to forget his emotions because he does not regularly share them. Make that a top priority for you to concern yourself with his emotions too. Society is tough on a quiet one, since the image portrayed by the medias are that quiet is boring. They joke about being boring every once in a while because sometimes, they don't see how anyone can find interest in them because they don't talk as much. Make it a known fact to him that society is wrong. Constantly remind him of the things that you love about him, praise him whenever you the chance, and be his rock. He might even get annoyed sometimes by this, but never let him feel even the slightest bit unappreciated.
Remember that although he won't say much about his past and story without you practically prying it out of him, it does exist. It is very important to know where he comes from, his innermost thoughts that never breach his lips, his fears, his goals, everything that makes him who he is. Take your time to memorize him like he has taken time to memorize you.
Opposites attract, now a major theme in my life story. I have fallen in love with the quiet one...and my life will never be the same.
