I think I reached a point where I thought I knew, I thought I understood.

I thought I was at a place in life where I was done with the back and forth, the heartbreak, and the poor decisions.

But I guess I was wrong.

I took a chance because I saw something, I saw something rare, and I saw something real.

How could I be so wrong, how could too much of a good thing be bad?

How could two people who understand each other so well, push each other away?

And how, and why is this happening, again?

I'm frequently reminded of my age, as I'm sure many of you are, but age has nothing to do with heartbreak.

I think we all have expectations, and an ideal time in life when we'll "for sure be married, or in a serious relationship."

And when it doesn't happen, or you experience another failed relationship, you can't help but drop your head in sorrow, weighed down by the heaviness of your heart. It's completely discouraging.

Why?

Because it mattered because we invested our heart and soul into something.

But more importantly, because we experience self-reflection, and if the relationship fails, we take it personally.

And in many ways we should, it takes two to make a relationship work, or not work.

We learn from our mistakes and grow from them.

But I don't want to talk about that.

I don't want to talk about the grass being greener, about life getting better, giving it time, and learning from our mistakes.

Because it hurts, it really, really hurts.

This wasn't just another person, another chance, another experience to you, this was something you really believed in.

You put all your eggs in one basket because you though, "surely, surely this must be it."

And you were wrong.

He's not going to be the one picking your kids up from school, asking your parents for your hand, or buying groceries with you.

She's not your other half, the love of your life, and your partner.

Because it didn't work out.

Personalities differed, conflicts rose, opinions clashed, and it becomes too hard.

Not because you gave up, but because each time you stepped up to the plate to try again, you lost even more joy and energy.

Why couldn't we be on the same page, what went wrong?

But you don't really want to think about it, you don't want to be haunted by the "what if's"

And ultimately, you feel shame, you feel shame because you were wrong.

All your boasting, all your joy, all your feelings, and efforts, were for nothing.

And now it's just you, again.

Starting all over again, and not even sure where to start.

Maybe the relationship was long, and maybe it was short, but either way, it doesn't take away from that pain in your heart you wake up with, reminding you each day, "they're not yours anymore."