I just want to start this article by saying I love the church and this is not to slam anybody or complain, but more to address some of the issues I faced. I got baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints when I was 12, but we will start a little sooner than that.

The first time I ever went to the church, I went with my sister when I was about 8 or 10. I knew some of the kids that were there, but since we were still in primary they were all in another class from me. Nobody really talked to me because I was the outsider and they had no idea what to do with me, it wasn't like I had come with other relatives my age. Then it got worse as everybody started singing primary songs that they all knew and I sat there completely silent waiting and pleading for someone to tell me what words we were singing. At this point in my life, I was attending a baptist church and I LOVED to sing, I was an excellent reader so I was expecting to be handed a hymn book and we would sing it like we did in my Sunday School class. After this experience, I didn't go back for a very long time and I truly didn't want to, I didn't want to be the awkward one who had no idea what was going on again. If you personally know me, you know I am a total type A who likes to be in control at all times.

Later, my sister married a member of the church and had a baby, as anyone who has tried to deal with a child during church, you all know they can be a little noisy and most mothers need a little extra help. At this time I was 12 and able to join in young women's. I liked it a lot better than primary, but I still had difficulty making friends. I felt like these people had known each other their whole lives and I was the peculiar one, so most of the time I tried to just stay out of their way. As I got older, I started to get to a small seminary class and go to the dances where I got to meet more people. The one thing I wish now is that I would have realized that people weren't going out of their way to avoid me, but I wasn't making a very big effort to make friends with others because of the fear of my own inadequacies.

I still have troubles now and again feeling like there is a huge tattoo on my forehead saying CONVERT and that it is plainly obvious to others that I have in no way the perfect Mormon family. I still struggle sometimes because I fit in more with people at college or work than people at church and I honestly don't know why. I try my hardest to fit in, but I will admit that I have always been my own person and I don't put a lot of weight on people accepting me, which can be offputting. I hope one day that I won't think of myself as a convert anymore, but just as a latter-day saint. I have a strong testimony of the church and I absolutely love my calling, so I know that one day it will all work and all the struggles I may have felt will be made clear. Furthermore, I plead with the members of my church to PLEASE make converts feel welcome, we chose to join the church, but that doesn't mean that we don't need support. Oftentimes we need support the most because our families are not fully behind us so we need a church family to go to for comfort and guidance. So be there for that convert who is like a newborn lamb, shaky in the legs, but ready to run forth and preach the gospel.