There's a time in everyone's life where they feel like they're not enough. Whether it's in a relationship, school, or in general. No matter what the situation, the feeling is horrible all around. I'm writing this article to capture those feelings, reach out to those people, and, hopefully, help someone feel like they matter.
For the people in school who feel like they aren't enough
First of all, you are. No matter what you feel or think, or are even told, you are, and never forget that. In high school especially, people question it the most. High school is the time of finding yourself, discovering who you are. And for some, that self-discovery causes criticism from their peers. I'm writing this for those people, to remind them that being different is okay, you're not living your life to please others. If you're happy with the way you are, that should be enough. In high school being different is looked at as being the worst thing ever. In college, it's like there's no such thing as being different because no matter what, you'll find people like you, and you "fit" in. College. The time in your life where you're becoming an adult, while also trying to discover yourself, again. The person you are without your parents being there, with new friends, a new set of responsibilities. Meanwhile, also trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life (because not everyone has it figured out, and that's okay).
I'm currently a freshman in college, in the pre-med program. The number of people who asked, or was told (parents love to brag) about my major, could tell you I'm in the pre-med program with the hope of becoming a pediatric surgeon. I'm not sure when I came up with the conclusion exactly, that I no longer wanted this. I think it was somewhere between my SCI-150 class, and viewing all the science classes I would have to take in the future, that I realized science didn't intrigue me enough to make a living off of it. Figuring out what I wanted to do, be, after I had told so many people my plans, seemed like I had failed before I even started. Telling my parents I wanted to change my major felt like the biggest failure and made me feel like I wasn't enough. Like I wasn't strong enough to followthrough, and the thought of looking weak and changing my major almost made me stay in the pre-med program. So when I went home one weekend and was visibly miserable, my parents asked me what was wrong, and I told them how I was thinking about changing my major, and how sorry I was that I was even THINKING it. "It's your life, we just want you to be happy if you want to change your major go ahead. Don't do it to make us happy." The biggest weight was lifted off my shoulders then. In college, people repeatedly tell you, it's okay to change your major, don't feel like you HAVE to stick with what you choose at first. And every time I was told this, it just reassured me that what I was doing was okay, and I wasn't a failure. My point to this story is that I felt like I wasn't enough, smart enough and that changing my major would somehow make me less of a person, of a student. I told this because this feeling is normal, and you're not alone.
For the people in a relationship/friendship who feel like they aren't enough
To the girls and guys who feel like they're not as important as their partner or as a person in general because of what that person has said. You are. They're putting you down because it has something to do with them, not you. You are a perfect human being with so much to offer, but to someone who actually deserves it. You are more than the relationship, you are more, worth more, than the way you were treated. Learn to love yourself first, know what you deserve and want so you know how your significant other should be treating you. Learn to love everything about yourself, especially your "flaws". You'll be all that much happier in your relationship. Loving yourself more than anyone else could is better than any love someone could give you.
If you're feeling like you're not enough because you were cheated on, or dumped without an explanation, know you are worth way more than what their actions made you feel. You deserve more than someone who is willing to leave or cheat on you at any given moment. You'll find that someone who treats you like you're the only other person in the world, and you'll realize that ex was just a stepping stone on your journey to help you find yourself, and figure out what you deserve.
Friendships. Unfortunately, it seems like at some point in everyone's life, they've had a degrading friendship. A "friendship" with someone who made them feel like they weren't important, smart, or worthy of someone's time. It puts you down, makes you feel like you're not enough, that maybe you're not enough to have that person friendship, but you're wrong. You deserve all of it and more. Feeling like you matter, like you're not enough, sucks, but once you finally move on from the person, learn what you DO deserve, it'll only benefit you and you're future relationships, and mentality. Not everyone deserves your time, or patience. Sometimes you need to put yourself above others, for your own sanity, and health.
My point here, no matter what situation you are in, or who it is telling you that you don't matter or aren't enough, you do, and you are. You matter and are enough to someone. Even if you don't think you do, there is someone out there who loves you more than words can describe, and cares for you with their all. They love you, you matter to them. So whenever you think you're not, remember that. You ARE enough, and there is always at LEAST one person who believes that as well.
