To think that every victory & defeat was to benefit me, that every valley & every mountain was for my good. It melts my heart. I have had to brave waves of doubt, adversity, confusion, and sorrow. Yet to somehow now stand on solid ground, I can be confident of only one thing: God's ways are intentional, not mysterious.
I’ve spent countless days envious of others, heartbroken that I didn’t get their opportunity, upset with people I loved for deserting me, confused as to why I had to endure storms that seemed to blow past others. I've walked roads alone and had to take the long way round. For such a season, that I was starting to believe that maybe a beautiful, wholesome life wasn't for me.
What I have come to understand, through waves of defeat is that there isn’t a time, a moment, a circumstance that God doesn’t have meaning for. Truly everything happens for a reason.
1 Peter 5:6 says,
“Be humble under God’s powerful hand, so he will lift you up when the right time comes.”
This verse stuck with me. As we are go through this transition to college or adulthood, God is growing us. When we surrender ourselves before Him and let him take control, he transforms our heart. I can honestly say that I struggled with pride. Keeping the verse from 1 Peter in mind, I worked intently on humbling myself.
Over time I had become better at humbling myself before the LORD. Drawing near to Him, learning to love Him, attempting to embrace His mighty love for me. Yet looking back I think there was a part of me that didn’t believe the second part of the verse, “he will lift you up when the right time comes”.
I know that God is good. He is sovereign, ever in love with us, longs for us to draw near, cares about every detail of our lives, desires to strengthen us in low times, wants to forgive & forget, wants to rescue us again and again (and again), longs for us to depend on His muscle to carry us places we can’t walk, is excited to hear from us (AGAIN), and has a plan for our small lives.
God is bringing me into a greater season of life and truth be told, it's hard to accept. I thought I was unworthy, that true accomplishment would never fall to my lot. Well folks, never say never. Reflecting on the times I struggled to stay afloat, financially, spiritually, mentally, socially, I can see now that I would not be the human being I am in this moment.
If I had not braved the trying times, if I had not been refined by the fire, if I had not stripped away the parts of me that didn’t honor the LORD, removed baggage, dead weight, distractions, hurts, false hopes, the love for materials, the selfish bits, the root of bitterness within, I wouldn't be equipped to move into the next season of life.
All this is not to say that I am perfect. I have still parts of my heart & mind that need improvement. The difference now is that I am confident I can trust in God’s plan for me. That He is in control & that nothing could ever take me from His hand. He will be faithful to complete the work He has started within my soul.
Philippians 1:6 can attest to this truth.
“God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.”
I have a fresh mindset because of this. My mindset is this: that no matter how great the mountain, what the giant looks like, or what the setback appears to be, it is all going to work out for my victory. It will serve to benefit me, I will overcome.
John 10:10 says,
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
I have chosen to ignore the whispers that God has forgotten me. I am convinced that He made me for great purpose. I am strong enough to walk this Earth. I have a “rich and satisfying life” ahead of me, as do you! Believe it in your heart & proclaim it with every ounce of your being.
