Week four of my senior year is already in full swing. Graduation used to be such a far off idea, but it is quickly becoming something I have to prepare for. As I think about what graduating college means, I realize I have to consider what adulthood might look like. While the possibilities of the future are endless, a few fears have been slowly creeping to the front of my thoughts.
1. Will I find a job?
This is what is always on the back of my mind almost every single day. As a kid, I was always asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. As a college student, I still receive this question. Luckily, I have a pretty firm idea of what I want to do. What scares me, though, is that I might not even find a job. I could be 100 percent certain of what I want to do the rest of my life, but that does not mean an employer would hire me.
2. Will I stay close with my friends?
In college, you spend four years living your highest and lowest moments with the friends you make. You live in such close proximity to your best friends for so many years, and then you graduate and it’s over. How will these friendships change? Will some of the people I can’t imagine life without end up being a stranger a few years from now?
3. Where will I end up?
Now I know where you move to after graduation is not necessarily where you will live forever, but it’s still a place you’ll call home for at least a little while. I have dreams of where I’d love to move to, but what scares me is that I’ll have to settle. I am terrified that I’ll be stuck at my job, get comfortable in that location, and not be as happy as I could be.
4. Will I ever get to travel?
It’s been a dream of mine to travel around the world and explore the places I’ve constantly seen in pictures. Everyone says to travel while you’re young and not tied down, but this has become increasingly difficult. Being a college student, I’m always broke. Once I graduate, I’ll be just as broke. I need to find a job after graduation if I want money to spend, but I’m not guaranteed that time off to travel. Traveling is such an easy thing to put off. I’m constantly telling myself, oh, I’ll get there eventually. I’m scared eventually will never happen.
5. Do I know how to be an adult?
As a college student, you’re living in a bubble. You have the freedom of being an adult without the overbearing responsibilities. Once I graduate, I’m on my own. I’m no longer some college student who is figuring out his life; I’m an adult who needs to have his life together. I still have no idea how to file taxes, and I know nothing about insurance. Will it still be acceptable to order takeout every other night, or do I become an avid grocery shopper?
6. Will I love what I’m doing?
I want to be in a job where I’m excited to go to work every day. I’ve worked jobs where I dreaded going to work because I was simply doing it for the paycheck. What if the actual job I’ve been preparing myself my whole life for is actually something I hate? Will I have the courage to completely change my career?
7. Will college be the high point of my life?
I never want to be that person that peaks. I want life to only get better with every year and every experience. College has been such an amazing time, but my fear is that I’ll constantly be looking back at these four years and wishing I was back.
8. What if I really screw up?
Growing up, failure is often seen as a lesson and something we can grow from. Our parents, friends, and teachers lift us up whenever we fail at something. I’m scared that I’m really going to screw something up when I graduate. What if I forget to pay taxes? What if I become a terrible parent? What happens when if I experience a huge failure at work and get fired? I’m terrified of entering the real world because it seems as if that safety net is completely taken away.
I realize some of these fears might seem completely irrational, but these are the thoughts that keep me up at night. Graduating is such an exciting time, and I feel ready to close this chapter of my life and begin a new one. It's just that the unknown that naturally comes with it is terrifying.
