Many of you know of the old movie quote in which a master calls his pupil a “grasshopper.” Few know where it comes from. It comes from a movie in the 70s called "Kung Fu," which became the lengthy pilot episode to a TV show of the same name, starring David Carradine (some of you know him as the old man from the "Kill Bill" series). My father introduced this series to me at a young age and I loved it. Many aspects of it, the pilot movie in particular, helped shape my early ideologies.
Growing up, I always had something to say. I eventually used this in a cynical manner, pushing my opinions in debates. In the movie, a master says, “when one’s words are no better than silence, one should keep silent.” At first I thought this was impossible, but I now respect it wholly. So often do I see people who feel the need to assert their negativity and complaints on others. Sometimes, silence is better. Reside in yourself and resolve the negativity rather than spread it like wildfire.
But alas, we are here to talk about fear. The same Kung Fu master who called his student a “grasshopper” was blind. Grasshopper proclaimed that it must be terrible to live in darkness, to which Master Po replied, “Fear is the only darkness.” He could live, thrive, and fight completely blind, because he was able to adapt. He did not see his inability to see as a life of darkness.
Darkness is not what we cannot see; to me, it is more about what we cannot understand. I think about this quote almost daily. When I start to get to know someone, I like to ask them, “What is your greatest fear?” While no fear is lesser than another, fear is all relative; I categorize fear into two types.
There are external and internal fears. An external fear is something you can see, grasp, hear, and even understand. Darkness, spiders, heights, sharks, the ocean, and dogs are all external fears. An internal fear, to me, is something that is larger and more vague sometimes. It might span several dimensions, like space and time. Internal fears can be a fear of failure, a fear of loss, or a fear of being unable to help someone you love.
External fears can often be overcome with time, experience, and mitigation. You can be afraid of dogs, but when you hold a harmless puppy, you can see that despite your fear, it is a beautiful creature that asks not to be feared, but to be loved. In this moment, you can see the fear go away, though it may return later on. In "Batman Begins," Bruce Wayne is terrified of bats, but we see him mitigate his fears and motivate him to do good. External fears, though dark, can be handled and molded if you wish it so.
Internal fears never really go away. If you are afraid of dying without leaving a mark on this world, you will likely hold onto that fear until your last breath, questioning everything you’ve ever done and the caliber to which it impacted those around you. If you fear loss, you might always be weary that someone will leave your life unexpectedly.
To subdue these types of fears, it usually takes reassurance and individuals who can make us feel that the fear is unnecessary. To subdue a fear of vulnerability, we would have to meet someone whom we trust and love in such a way that we are willing to open ourselves up to them. This is but one example, but you get the idea.
Fear can be crippling. It can weigh you down with such immense power that you don’t want to move. It can make you shut down and give up on people, tasks, and yourself. Fear can be what makes you turn down an invitation somewhere. Fear can keep you from letting someone get to know you.
Fear can also drive you and motivate you. It can get you to talk to that person for the first time. It can push you to try something new. Fear can make your heart race so fast that the adrenaline lets you take that leap of faith. Fear can make you want to prove them wrong. Fear can say “It’s now or never. Choose now.” Fear can be an ocean’s abyss, a car’s near miss, a love’s first kiss.
