On November 9, I woke up with a sense of dread. At 5:56 a.m. I immediately checked the election results. To my horror, mine and thousands of other’s greatest fear had come true: Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States.
I can say with certainty: this is no longer my country. I refuse to express any form of patriotism for a nation that destroyed the lives of so many people because of blind hatred. At no point were the rights of those who voted for Trump in danger. They never had to fear being denied marriage or a place to live or walking in the street alone. The people I love are afraid and rightfully so. I’m terrified for all people of color and LGBTQA+ people. Even if Trump can’t pass laws that will affect them, the social environment has become more dangerous for them. It has taught the ignorant and hateful that it's OK to be a bigoted, racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic person. It’s taught the rapists that they can accomplish anything, despite having sexual assault allegations in the double digits against them.
When one of my friends was driving us back from lunch that day, I almost started crying. The realization that thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of people are in danger from the increasingly hostile environment around them was too much for me to handle. I’m lucky I can pass as white and straight. Nothing about that is comforting. I’d give that up in a second to protect those less fortunate. I’ll go to jail to protect those less fortunate. Now more than ever, that’s looking like a possibility. I’m not afraid to riot. I’m not afraid to start fires.
Earlier while I was at LensCrafters with my boyfriend, I overheard the employees talking about leaving the country. Apparently the night before, the immigration page to Canada crashed because of all the traffic it was getting. I hope that those who are in the most danger can actually get away to somewhere safe. My place is here—to fight to the death for what I believe in. The next four years look bleak, but the last thing we need is to let go of hope. It will only get worse if we allow it.
The fear we all feel is real. I will never minimize or overlook that. But if we focus on fear alone then we might as well tear out our vocal chords. We must fight the good fight. We will always have to fight. I’m just as exhausted as the rest of you, but I won’t stop until God himself rips the air from my lungs. If anything is worth fighting for, it's this. It’s for each other and for those who can’t. I refuse to live in a country ruled by hate.
Cry harder than you ever have before. Buy a knife. Punch the shit out of a pillow. Scream obscenities at the top of your lungs and only stop when you feel blood on your lips. Do whatever you need to rid your body of anger and fear. But don’t mistake those emotions for defeat. We are not defeated. We have tripped and we may be wounded, but we are not done yet. And if you are too afraid to fight, then let me do it for you. Let me be your voice and I swear to God, I will be loud enough to shake the White House.
Whatever you do, just don’t give up. Not now, not ever. We are loved and we are supported by each other. We are all we need.
