Fear Is A Monster And It Lives In My Brain

Fear Is A Monster And It Lives In My Brain

& it lives in yours too.

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The suspense, on the edge of our seats, engaging terror that you can't seem to look away from.

Hiding under the covers each night, paranoid of every shower curtain, but we keep going back for more.

We both run from, and run to fear.

It's a demon that hits every nerve in our body, but not enough to scare us away.

Fear leads to anxiety, depression, shame, guilt,

crushing the fiber of our very being, but we're too trapped to run and too afraid to leave.

We sit back in our chairs and think, "don't go in the house!" or don't open the door!

We mock the very things we do ourselves.

He beats you, takes advantage of you, he's a pimp, a drug dealer, a scam artist.

She manipulates, lies, cheats, and hurts you, but you don't leave.

And we think it's simple.

If it's obvious, it must be easy.

In fact, if fear was really ugly, would we be so enticed?

If demons were so scary, would we still listen?

We aren't trapped by the ugly,

we're trapped by the beautiful.

And the beautiful then turns to ugly.

Like hugging a body that turns into a rotting corpse filled with maggots.

We're trapped.

Locked in this house of fear we've created, with all of our monsters.

Each wall having a story, each room having a theme, and fear drives us to lock it all up.

To not let anyone in, because then they'll know, and everything will be exposed.

Fear is a monster.

By definition, a monster is either a threatening force, an animal of a strange or terrifying shape, or most commonly known as a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness, or cruelty a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness, or cruelty

Just as fictional as a monster is, as are our fears.

We begin to think people care for our personal lives far more than we do.

We lie to ourselves, making something a bigger deal than it is.

Creating a monster in our minds.

And when you let that happen, it's not you anymore. It's a crippled individual, held back from living a life, misguiding yourself into thinking everyone knows your secrets, and ultimately alone.

Fear has created a monster in my life that creates anxiety, that says "the worst will probably happen."

It'll just be you, lost, out in the world, with no money, or job, completely and totally helpless.

I'm left out of breath, and 100% too fearful to do anything.

It becomes a monster because it becomes something in my mind that controls how I feel, how I see, and what I do.

Enough to lock people away in their homes, keep us from trying new things, and living.

Living life.

Accepting a fear when it happens, and trying again, or trying something new.

And it is scary, it is hard, but is it worth all the pain?

All the lies, and missed opportunities.

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9 Metaphors That Describe Anxiety To Non-Anxious People

Anxiety is difficult to explain, and even more difficult to understand.
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Everyone experiences anxiety in one form or another. However, there is a large difference between having an anxiety disorder and feeling anxious every now and then. For instance, it is pretty common and typical for someone to be anxious before they take an exam, but becoming so anxious that they don't eat and decide to not show up to the exam at all could be a sign that that person has a disorder. Anxiety disorders themselves range from being mild to severe, and it can also depend on what triggers a person experiences and how often. In short, anxiety is a broad term that ultimately depends on the individual.

It can be difficult to describe anxiety to someone who has never truly experienced it like the people who have disorders do. Social media is full of attempted explanations, but there are still those people who tell us to "get over it," "don't think about it so much," and "there's no reason to be anxious." One of the biggest misunderstandings about having anxiety is that most of the time we know that there isn't any real reason to be anxious, and that our minds are overreacting. The thing is, though, it just feels impossible for us to turn it off and think logically in that moment. There's not a whole lot we can do.

Since that can still be confusing, I've compiled a list of metaphors and analogies that might make a little more sense to those who have never truly experienced anxiety before.

1. Anxiety is when you leave the house and feel like you have forgotten something but can't remember what it is, and worrying about it all the time.

2. Anxiety is the mini heart attack you receive when you're walking down the stairs and miss a step, but your heart never calms down and the butterflies remain in the pit of your stomach.

3. Anxiety is when you are watching a scary movie and you know something is about to pop out and scare you, but it never does, so you just keep waiting for it to happen.

4. Anxiety is taking the phrase "step on a crack, you'll break your mom's back" way too literally, and having to focus on where you step each time you go for a walk.

5. Anxiety is not knowing whether or not someone is being rude or just sarcastic, so you constantly wonder how they feel about you.

6. Anxiety is the feeling that someone is following or watching you, even though no one is ever there.

7. Anxiety is diving deep underwater, then swimming back up to the surface, but the surface is farther away that it seemed so you suddenly feel as if you are about to drown.

8. Anxiety is feeling like every day tasks, such as taking a shower, might result in your harm, even though reality tries to convince you otherwise.

9. Anxiety is the fear of fear.

Again, some of these might not apply to everyone that has anxiety, because anxiety is so different for everyone. I know that there are probably a million different ways to describe anxiety based on what each individual person is anxious about, so this list is just a start. If you are reading this and have anxiety, I hope you find comfort in the fact that someone can relate to what you feel. If you are reading this and don't consider yourself an anxious person, I hope that this gives you a better understanding of what people experience when they say they have an anxiety disorder. Either way, remember that whatever it is you're anxious about, the storm will always pass. Stay strong.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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Ghosting Is The Coward's Way Out In A New Age Of Relationships

What is so difficult about telling someone you're not interested?

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A while back, I was strolling through Target with my mom in the book section when she asked me what "ghosting" was. I explained to her that it was a common term for when two people were talking or dating when suddenly, one of the people fell off the radar with no explanation.

They became like a ghost––hence the term. Sometimes, it was even mutual ghosting.

The term has become so common, in fact, that my mom found herself staring at a book entitled "Ghosted," a story centered on a young woman who falls in love over the course of a week and unexpectedly finds herself ghosted.

I've read countless articles on this topic. Some are in favor of this decision, saying it's completely acceptable and even encouraged in some situations. Others find it gross, disrespectful and cowardly.

I have to say, I must agree with the latter.

With the exception of abusive circumstances, there really is no excuse not to pick up the phone and be honest with the person you've been talking to.

If someone has been investing time into you, getting to know you, then you owe it to them and yourself to end things properly. If you have gone on a few dates with this person, then expectations are now in place that should be respected. Communication is one of the major foundations of respect in any relationship––be it a romantic or a platonic relationship.

It's common sense and basic decency. When did those fly out the window?

If you aren't interested anymore, there's nothing wrong with that! The offense comes when you choose the coward's way out instead of choosing a more honorable route. Maybe the other person won't like what you have to say, but at least you can say you did the right thing.

Ghosting is a sign of emotional immaturity.

It's a selfish act that only succeeds in making the recipient feel bad about themselves, wondering what they did wrong...what they could have done differently. Not only is it hurtful, but it could lead to trust issues with future dating attempts, derailing their own love life.

You see, your decision has a domino effect in ways you probably don't care to see.

What is so difficult about telling someone you're not interested? Why not give yourself and your partner the closure that will help each of you move forward?

In all honesty, someone who ghosts you isn't really someone you want to be in a relationship, to begin with.

Think of it this way: They showed their true colors and you effectively dodged a bullet. Maybe it's the new dating trend, but it's not ethical or healthy by any means, and their poor decision may have saved you some major future heartache.

For now, just keep kissing those frogs. One of them is bound to turn into your prince/princess.

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