How do you describe that feeling when you finally come out of that state of denial? When you know it's finally time to be honest with yourself, totally and utterly honest? Regardless of what it is, if it's admitting that someone you hold dear to you is actually toxic to your life or that being alone scares the shit out of you. Whatever it may be, there's this feeling, like a weight being lifted off your chest, as you can finally at last breathe. Then once you admit it to yourself and accept it, you can say it aloud to not only yourself but to others as well.

I've always been the type of person to be honest with myself, especially about the character flaws that hold me back from being my absolute best. In the last several months I had been struggling with my mental health and I had just been really disappointed in myself, I felt stuck and alone. I couldn't figure out why and then it came to me.

I had realized that it was time to start going for it and what I mean by that is that I needed to chase those things that scared the living shit out of me. Just like anyone else I want to succeed and I want it bad, but I had taken the time to self-reflect and I noticed that my actions didn't reflect my desires and wishes.

It was one night in my room that I was just walking around and talking to God because I had come to the point where I was just lost and had nothing else. I surrendered completely, I was vulnerable and honest. The most vulnerable and honest I think I had ever been. With tears rolling down my cheek I had simply told God "I need help" the next thing that came out of my mouth had actually shocked me. "I'm afraid to do things that are hard, if somethings too challenging 90% of the time I avoid it because I hate failing."

Those are the words that had finally escaped my mouth after so long of trying not to admit it. Tears just flowed and flowed because at last, I could work on fixing it and becoming better. What made me really emotional about the whole thing was that when I had said these things to myself aloud, everything was okay, I had no reason to be afraid. It may be hard to believe but it has made a tremendous difference in my life.

Yes, simply just saying those words and accepting it, is what gave me the push I need. And I'm not writing this to convince anyone that talking to God is what does it, regardless of what religion you are or even if you aren't religious I don't think it matters. Even if you just say to the universe, I think it makes a difference.

I've noticed in other people and in myself that we don't like to admit those difficult things to ourselves, we deny them and try to continue on like everything's just fine. But things aren't always fine and that's okay, it's okay to not be okay.

I'm not saying that I'm all perfect now because I am not, I have so much more learning and growing to do. I still struggle and I'm still lost but now I'm comfortably lost, if that makes sense. I wanted to share this with people because I promise that on the other side of fear lives the greatest adventures.

I've been doing all types of things that are hard and it's turned out great so far, I am slowly but surely becoming the greatest version of myself. For the first time in my life, I am okay with failing. I am going to fail and fail and fail a million times over until I get it right, and you should too. Shit gets scary but can we let that stop us? Every day I am trying and will continue to try to look fear in the face and run right towards it. Whatever it is that frightens you, I really hope that you face it.