It's that time of the holiday season when all of your television channels are plagued with the best and worst Christmas movies. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good Hallmark Christmas movie marathon just like the next person, but by the fifth one, you can pretty much guess the entire plot from the opening sequence - you just have a little problem with what the minor problem is. Whether it's the Christmas cookies aren't perfect, the kid is missing someone, the house hasn't finished being built, or there is a narrowly missed deadline that will obviously ruin Christmas entirely unless these two protagonists get together and kiss and one of their kids jumps up for joy. (Okay, maybe I've watched all of them but listen, I was bored and the clicker was all the way across the room).
So I've compiled a list of all of the best Christmas movies out there. And obviously, I'm not a professional but they are my favorites of all time and if you haven't seen all of these at least 5,000 times if your life, then I'm not sure if you actually have cable television and a goal in your heart to be successful in watching every Christmas movie during the month of December.
Without further adieu! Let me force my favorites upon you and tell you all the reasons you should watch them! Enjoy!
1. "Die Hard"
Ahhh yes. One of the more classic Christmas movies disguised as a badass action movie with kidnapping, killing, and a hot guy getting hurt while being a hero. Bruce Willis is perfect and so is Alan Rickman - and since both are in this movie, you gotta see it and enjoy how wonderful it is. 10/10 obviously.
2. "Christmas with the Kranks"
Tim Allen being a grump about Christmas (this is a train that will just keep going with him in Christmas movies, just you wait) and Jamie Lee Curtis being a cutie as usual just pans out to make the best movie. You will laugh, you will cry (oh how you will cry), and you will want to go right out and buy an oversized snowman to put on your roof when you are done with this movie. Classic. 10/10.
Because I trust you guys, I'm going to tell you a little secret - I almost forgot that Elf was a Christmas movie, therefore almost forgot to put it in this article. I KNOW. So dumb, please forgive me. Literally, the reason I almost forgot was because leave it to teachers in high school for playing this godforsaken movie about 500 times throughout the year and I swear to you, my favorite french of a teacher of all time definitely rotated between this and Ratatouille. I swear I know both of these movies by heart now. But Elf is an amazing Christmas movie and if you don't know this movie and you don't know it by heart then you are a cotton headed ninny muggins and you go watch it right now. 11/10 for the elevator scene.
4. "The Santa Clause 2"
This movie is about 50x better than the original, for so many reasons. Number one, Tim Allen is a huge grump about Christmas in the first one (told you I'd get back to him again). Number two, you get to see what the tooth fairy looks like in this one and I love it so much. Number three, more kids believing in Santa is adorable. Number four, more adults not believing in Santa in a world where he exists?? Where do they think the presents are coming from?? Number five, SANTA WEDDING IS BEAUTIFUL. And last but not least, number six, there is a reindeer that is the main character and he takes the whole movie over. I love him. 10/10 would recommend.
5. "A Christmas Story"
This movie is such a classic and there is literally always a nonstop marathon of this movie on Christmas eve and I will admit to watching it about 40 times in a row before going to bed that night. It's so dumb and some of the scenes are so iconic you just can't help but to love it. Like the absolutely terrifying Santa in Macy's, the iconic tongue-to-the-cold-pole scene, everything about Randy makes me laugh - his whining, screaming, crying, I love it he is such a classic character. This movie made me want to go out and get a pink bunny onesie. 9/10 because they don't actually sell pink bunny onesies in my size. False advertisement.
6. "Christmas Vacation"
I obviously had to leave my favorite for the last one. This one is a perfect characterization of family Christmases if you have a crazy family that comes from all over the country and one of them lives in a camper. Everything about this movie from the first scene when they get stuck under a truck (which absolutely haunted me much into my adulthood - literally thought that could happen) to the end when they are all singing together on the lawn after they get attacked by the FBI for kidnapping their boss for giving a crappy present. Ahhh yes, this movie is perfection and such a classic. 12/10 because I finally memorized the entire string of swears Clark gives about the crappy present. That was a Christmas miracle in itself.
Hopefully you have a stupendous Christmas and hopefully, you check out these movies next season if you missed them this round! However, that doesn't mean that they won't be hiding somewhere amongst all 12,000 channels we get nowadays! Merry Christmas, everyone!