The arrival of Father's Day each June comes with two subsequent reactions: (1) completely forgetting when Father's Day is and then (2) scrambling the day before to get a decent gift with the rest of your siblings who also forgot. So, this article is being written as a helpful guide to all things DAD-- that's right, mugs, random ties, dad jokes and embarrassing moments and all. Take a deep breath, don't take this article seriously at all, and then seriously, just go to Target and get your dad something nice.

"Nice to meet you, Father's Day Starter Pack, I'm Dad!"

1. A sweet pair of some New Balance shoes.

Every dad and grandpa owns them. Each one. Don't deny it, and don't deny your father this small gift.

2. You can't have a pair of New Balance without some TUBE SOCKS.

A package deal! With your New Balance shoe purchase, simply put two in one and get your father a pair of tube socks!

3. Those weird sandals that all dads own for some reason.

Or is your dad not a fan of sneakers? Is he more of a hiker? Or maybe a tourist? Or maybe does he just hate wearing shoes? Then these are your next best bet! The ugliest sandals possible, perfect for your dad this Father's Day.

4. Cargo shorts. Just... Cargo shorts.

Real men need pockets to carry manly things, like wallets and pocketknives. More pockets, the better. The cargo shorts you buy your dad should have at minimum 17 pockets.

5. A #1 Dad mug. Or alternatively, a World's Best Dad mug.

Is your dad the best? No? Even better! Get him a #1 Dad mug to assure him of things that aren't even true! This will ease your relationship with him into something as fake and artificial as this mug!

6. "The Mummy" on DVD. Or "The Mummy Returns" on DVD.

Your dad loves this movie. Your dad needs this movie. How many times was this movie just playing in the background of your childhood? How many times did you go on that ride in Universal? Get your dad this movie.

7. A baseball hat. It probably doesn't even have to be his favorite sports team. He might not even have to like baseball.

It's not as expensive as actual tickets but shows you at least sort of pay attention to things he likes. It also offers the vague promise of attending a game with him that probably won't ever happen.

8. "Star Wars" boxers, probably.

I mean. Why not?

9. Don't forget about the generic ties! Never forget generic ties.

Get your dad a tie! Even if he doesn't wear ties to work, or at all, get him a tie! Men love ties! ... Right?

10. A barbecue spatula thing to assure him of his masculinity.

Man like meat. Man make meat. Man needs spatula to flip meat. Your dad is a man who likes to be a man who cooks. Get him a spatula for this magical day.

11. Tools. These are also to assure him of his masculinity.

After cooking a steak, your dad might suddenly feel the need to build a deck that he'll get halfway through and then never finish! Included: "No, don't hire anyone. I got it." and "I'll finish it eventually."

12. Those sunglasses. You know the ones.

Help your dad look cool among other dads. He'll wear these indoors, outdoors, on his shirt, and just about everywhere else in between.

13. Reading glasses that he probably refuses to buy himself.

If you're tired of your dad squinting at everything when he's reading the newspaper, just buy him the reading glasses that he needs. He doesn't want them. Get them anyway.

And there you go! A perfect list of gifts for every dad. Happy Father's Day!