It’s that time of year again, and lucky guess, but no, it is not Christmas. Each year the third Sunday in June is reserved to honor fathers everywhere. Even though others may disagree, I see this day as one of the most controversial days celebrated. Feelings about this day are spread out across the board.

For some daughters, Father’s Day is a day set aside to show the first man after their heart how much they really mean to them. For sons, it’s the day to honor the man they one day aspire to be. For them, this is one of the best days ever (second to Mother’s Day) to celebrate a half of the equation that gave them life. The day is full of new gifts and gadgets for dad that make him feel like he’s having Christmas in June, laughs and cuddles next to the man of honor, and maybe even a special barbeque put together just for the family where he does the honor of manning the grill as always. By the end of the day, dad sits back and is full of gratitude knowing how blessed he is to have such a wonderful family, especially his children. The kids couldn’t imagine their life without their father and would never begin to try because they know he truly is the best, and a life without him would be one not worth living.

In other households that seem to be a part of a parallel universe, the observance of Father’s Day is a day that reminds them of the absence or void felt from not having their father around for one reason or another. For them, they wake up to just another ordinary day with nothing special planned but to carry out their normal Sunday routines. Some try to avoid bothering their friends knowing that they have a list of special events planned for the day, while others stay clear of social media knowing that the sappy post will only make them want something they never had even more. Others in this situation choose to take a totally different approach, and this is where we see most of the animosity surrounding the holiday stem.

For those raised in a single-mother home, they sometimes choose to take the day to honor the one who had to do it all due to the absence of their father. Their social media is instead flooded with special photos of mom to let the world know just how exceptional she really is. Some may see this, read the post, enjoy the testament, and keep scrolling while others just can’t help but stop and comment how inappropriate the post is. They see it as a bash in the face to their own hero fathers who took the role in their lives seriously and more than lived up to the title, and are therefore deserving of the holiday. They tell us to get rid of our “single mother praise” post and save it for another day, causing a back and forth argument. The truth is though, being raised in a single-mother home or single any parent home is just something they don’t understand. They don’t understand the feeling of a little child who doesn’t want to go to school for the day because they know their “Daddy Daughter Breakfast” will be spent getting introduced to all of their friend’s fathers. Or the child who spent their entire big game weekend looking over to the stands hoping one day to see the one smiling face that seems to always be missing. In each of these cases, the one to wipe the tears away after endless disappointments was the shirt of their mother letting them know that they are just as special as everyone else. I was told the worst feeling any parent could have is one where their child hurts and they are unable to do anything about it. So for years they watch their child in silent pain, even when they don’t say anything about it. They pray for the best, and hope that their children chose to take their fathers absence as a reason to be more than great instead of it holding them back.

So on behalf of children raised by a single mother, we’re sorry for you feeling uncomfortable by our post. But deep down we are children just like you who wish for dad to be their hero, or to be daddy’s little princess. The only difference is that you have the chance to and we never will. We’ll let you enjoy your Father’s Day, but allow those who wish to to praise the only one who has and always will be there.