There is a small population of overweight people who are lazy and just don’t give a shit that they are eating themselves into a stupor, but 97% of overweight people are not those people. Every population has a select few that give the rest a bad name and reputation, and the overweight population is definitely no exception. Everyone has their theories as to why obesity is getting worse, but, the consensus is, fat people are lazy and just choose to continue to be fat. REALLY?

Here are a few reasons why obesity is getting worse and will continue to get worse, at least for those in my boat.

STRESS.

We, as women, have to be able to do it all.

For the last seven months, my husband and I have lived in different states so, I’ve been on my own (I have a deep appreciation for single mothers). I wake up at 5 a.m. to get ready for work and get my three children ready for school. Then, I commute to work, work all day, and commute home. Then, I make dinner and we eat just in time for the kids to get ready for bed. Then, I do dishes, laundry and clean the house as best I can before going to bed at 11 p.m. Not to mention homework, reading books, singing songs and bedtime kisses in there somewhere. Oh, and did I mention Girls Scouts? And that I work on lessons and projects on my lunch hour at work? And, repeat.

We are expected to do all of these things, on less and less sleep, with smiles on our faces and never-ending patience.

Didn’t see exercise in that schedule, did you? And did I mention that we are doing more on less sleep? Sleep... that thing that regenerates us each day. We are getting less of it. Our mental health is getting worse. Our stress is getting higher. My patience is getting less… you feel the same?

And, if we get sick, we don’t get a break. We trudge on through all of the above while contagious and miserable. No choice there, and that's even when we have partners in our lives.

TECHNOLOGY AND OFFICE JOBS.

Technology is awesome, but it is one of the biggest contributors to the obesity problem and is only getting worse. Combine technology and working in an office environment and we have a health disaster. More than 30 years ago, before computers hit offices, people (although they had desk phones) had to physically get up and go talk to coworkers, colleagues, etc. Although they were in an office environment, they had to physically move more to do their jobs and conduct business. Prior to office jobs, a majority of jobs were physical labor. Farming and manufacturing required us to be incredibly physical. No one had to work exercise into their lives because that was what they did all day. And, food was farm to table, therefore fresh and not processed. Fast forward to now. We sit in our cars for hours to get to and from our jobs. We sit at our desks for eight or more hours per day. We don’t even have to get up from our desks with email and live chat at our fingertips. And because of Skype (or Go To Meeting, etc.), we don’t even have to leave our desks for meetings. Then, if we want to be a high producer or exceptional employee, we remain chained to our smartphones after hours, checking email and making calls, which is done mostly while sitting.

We have less time per day, more things to do, and more things that help us do those things while hardly moving, and we are considered lazy? Our brains are working in overdrive, our stress levels are rising, all while our bodies are growing larger by the second. Oh, and what kinds of foods are readily available to wolf down in the few minutes we give ourselves to eat in the day? Probably something fast, fried, processed, ready-made, not healthy, and often not fresh. And, the healthiest options tend to be the most expensive. I know this is not news to you, but do you see a pattern?

SHAME AND MENTAL HEALTH

Living in shame is one of the most vicious and prominent cycles on earth. We are overweight. Every freaking message around us (weight loss pills, programs, surgery, fashion, being cool, etc.) tells us that we are not worthy human beings, so we must lose weight. Losing weight will make us beautiful, which will make us happy. So, spend every waking moment agonizing about eating, or not, working out, or not, etc. And when we don’t succeed, we feel even more worthless. We continue to be a failure. So, we turn to food.

Food comforts us and doesn’t call us names, food tastes good and gives us that temporary high, like a drug. The shittiest thing about it is, that we need food for survival. We don’t need addictive drugs or alcohol to survive, but we need food. So it makes it a bit more complicated. Then the shame vomiters, tell us that we are horrible, unworthy human beings, because we are fat. We are making the world a worse place for them. So, we feel like horrible, unworthy human beings, and we turn to food for comfort. And, repeat.

So, what do we do about this? I really wish I knew. But, I can tell you that anyone who thinks they are helping an overweight person by insulting, admonishing, belittling, and shaming, is doing the exact opposite of what they are intending. Or, maybe, they are just trying to take their own problems out on an easy target. Let's start with this: encourage overweight friends by offering to walk with them at lunch, or meet them at the gym after work.

A workout buddy increases the odds of getting healthier exponentially. Offer to babysit for a few hours, or recommend a great day spa for a massage or facial. Find out what makes them joyful, and see if you can do it with them. Help them by doing things that make them happy. And, repeat.