I am a hopeless romantic. At best, I often approach life and pursuits of the heart with some good old-fashioned whimsy. However, more and more these days, the old-fashioned becomes increasingly estranged. In matters of romance in particular, the shape of relationships has only continued to diversify. Traditional dating and courtship are all fine and well; done correctly, they can be incredibly healthy and rewarding, but as models for cultivating attraction, they are undoubtedly rigid. Make no mistake, I'm all for candlelit dinners and slow walks on the beach, but for many of us that is at best a lurid fantasy.
Like many other forces of nature, attraction is not bound up in clear rules and predictability. Thus, objectively, we should not necessary expect our romantic gestures to fall within clean, clear lines of what is and what is not true or traditional romance. This applies to all facets of amorous intrigue, including shared activities, levels of commitment, and especially titles and nicknames. Partner, lover, significant other-- though each of these holds connotation and enduring meaning, they are but words. They are what one puts into them, and ultimately they are not required to legitimize one's relationship.
In truth, I have recently wondered who we aim to please when we conform to normalized models of romance. Our peers? Our families? Perhaps some of the time, but at large it seems to me that, as in many cases, society is to blame. However, what do I care how society thinks? If one maintains a relationship that is honest and hospitable, and is respectful of oneself and of others, one need not cower to the popularized culture of society. Hence, I am here to say goodbye to conventional romance.
Here I say adieu to what is proper or practiced, what is traditional or expected by popular standards. Sayonara toxic culture, televised machinations, and other productions of the "real" way to do relationships; I bid thee no further company. What matters-- what has always mattered most-- is one's own perceptions and sufficient moral scruples. Though we can do without many boundaries laid out for us, we must never ignore the healthy dogma laid out by us. Respecting our romantic conspirators and ourselves, understanding the prevalence of consent, and generally being a good person-- these are the true hallmarks of an ideal relationship.
And so, my comrades in passionate ardor, I invite you to dispense of your preconceived theories, social pressures, and any hesitancy bound up within. Only you and you alone possess the agency to define your relationships with others. They are personal, and ultimately meant for your own fulfillment, not the fulfillment of stereotypes and dogged expectation. A good colleague of mine wrote on the perseverance of dating culture some time ago, and I wholeheartedly agree that is a healthy, persisting entity. At the same time, I add that is a whole amorphous one, whose shape will continue to shift and encompass each individual person that pursues someone in their life. Now, when I consider the conventions of romance, I recall a quote from Will Smith from the 2005 film "Hitch"; indeed, concerning, "the basic principles, there are none."
