To My First Love,

I always used to wonder what falling in love was like. My mom and dad never really acted like they loved each other, let alone liked each other. So, thanks to Nicholas Sparks and Disney, I have been the damsel stuck in a fantasyland of romance, searching for the prince to come to my rescue for years now. I longed for the days we would spend together. I dreamed of dancing around the kitchen, eating cold pizza at midnight, watching endless sports, and drinking copious amounts of coffee together. Love was supposed to be light and easy and fun.

I used to believe in love at first sight, but after you I know that’s not the case. When we first met, I was perplexed. I had this list of requirements for the man I was going to love. He was to be tall, smart, funny, like the same sports teams as me, love science and math, essentially he was supposed to be like me, but not a woman. I knew exactly what I wanted, until I met you. I'm pretty sure we bickered or bartered as our first conversation. I immediately thought I wanted nothing to do with you. But something about you intrigued me. You hit me like a tidal wave, and honestly, I was not happy about it at all. I tried to ignore it, but I was too curious about you. The times we spent together I got lost in your eyes, in your laugh. Hearing you talk about the future, or about your life fascinated me and I knew I wanted to be a part of it. I was hooked. Everything I thought I wanted in man was wrong because I truly wanted you. I wanted that sarcastic sense of humor, the adventurous spirit, the level mind and gentle heart. I wanted someone who wasn’t afraid to challenge me, but knew when to give in to me. I wanted what was right in front of me. You.

Fortunately for me, you fell in love with me too. We acted out a romance that only could have been written by us. My fantasyland was shattered immediately. Loving you was, well, easy, but maintaining our love was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I learned that love is this beautiful, wonderful disaster that destroys every possible preconceived notion. Because of you I learned that I am not as tough as I imagined. I learned that tears do not deserve shame. I learned to open my perspective. But most importantly I learned how to love another person.

I’m pretty sure that I went a little crazy loving you. But I learned how to put someone else’s needs before my own. You became the most important part of my life for a little while. You taught me to find beauty in the littlest moments, from the kisses to just sharing your company. And while I spent more tears on you than I wished, I am forever indebted to you. You helped me learn about myself; you helped me grow into who I am now. You helped teach me the true definition of love. We were never perfect, far from it actually, but when I think of love, part of me will always think back to you. I know we aren’t right for one another now, but because of you I know love.

Thank you for being you.