Families, families are strange animals aren’t they? Particularly immediate families. When you think about it, you would think that immediate families, the majority of them at least, would get along thick as thieves. They are raised, for the most part, under the same circumstances, though the circumstances happen at different stages in sibling’s development. Biological siblings share the same parents, so you would think that they would have a better shot at understanding each other given that the same two adults were responsible for them. And yet, so often that is not the case.
I can only speak for my own experiences and myself of course. I hero-worshipped my older sister. She was beautiful, intelligent, well liked by others, had a great personality, hell; she was practically perfect in every way. Or at least that is how I saw her, a hotter version of Mary Poppins. We weren’t close growing up; I was a responsibility that she didn’t want to have to deal with when our parents divorced. Later in life we became closer, for a while she was my best friend. Now, when we could really stand to lean on each other, we are practically estranged. I often wonder what brought about the abyss that now defines our “sisterhood”.
I am not alone in this, sadly, and it is the biggest fear that I have for my own children. I pray constantly that they will remain close. It is my hope that they will seek each other out for advice, for support, for a laugh from time to time. I picture them getting together on weekends with their families and reminiscing while simultaneously making new memories together. But who is responsible for that happening. Is it just luck, are we as parents the ones that instill this or fail to instill that love and loyalty? I wish I had the answer.
I have seen blended families, a his, mine and ours type of family, that meld together beautifully. You aren’t quite sure who is whose because they are all each other’s. You never call them step or half siblings, they are simply brothers and sisters. It is a lovely thing to behold, something I look upon with a healthy bit of envy and a longing to have my own children find. This above all is my hope, it would be my legacy to have instilled a love and devotion among my children that will outlast me.
