Looking back these last few years, I’ve spent more time away from my hometown. It was nice to get away. Luckily, it is only one hour away from college. College takes you to a new place of adventure. College changes you for the good (I hope). Sometimes you become this person that is different from what people in your hometown are used to seeing. Since I have changed somewhat, it feels weird going back to my hometown. I honestly feel like an outsider. This is something I wish someone told me before I went to college. Going back home does not feel like home anymore. It gives you that “new place feeling.” Maybe it is just me, but do you ever feel like an outsider? I feel that every time I visit, I am someone who is out of place. Even though I have lived there my whole life, it is weird. I want to tell you three things you might feel when coming home, even on the weekends. It is awkward seeing people, visiting places and of course realizing new things about yourself.
The first thing I do when I get back home is always run into people. I am always excited to run into friends that I have not seen in ages! It is good to catch up. Those bonds never seem to disappear when you're absent for weeks or months at a time. Then there are people who you run into that you were either classmates or simply people you lost touch with. It is common courtesy to say hello especially out here in the Midwest. You may have a short conversation with them and go on with your day. Then you have those people where you might have hanging tensions or people who think poorly of you for some reason. Then it gets awkward when people assume I am a drunk frat guy with no worries. I shut them right down. I actually care about my education. People always complain that they could not escape my hometown.
Going to my favorite destinations around town also feels different. You notice appearances have changed. It all comes down to the little things that make a big impact on you. You notice that that tree where you stuck your gum on is now torn down. You ask yourself, “Why would they do this?” Sometimes your favorite store or shop is replaced by some other business sitting there now. It doesn’t really make me sad, but more like a little bit of me just got torn. Change is tough, especially in Small Town, Nebraska. Life goes on.
Now that I am in college, I have really found that sense of freedom. That sense of freedom doesn’t exactly transfer back home. Back at the dorms, you can leave whenever you please. I have to remember that when I walk into the front door, their rules apply. My parents don’t like me going out or staying up late. All parents worry. I just can’t simply get up to leave and not tell anyone. Parents are always hovering over me. It feels weird, but I know they are just being parents. It takes a while to get used to the rules again especially coming home for the summer or for holidays.
At the end of the day, my hometown will always be my hometown. Many things stay the same, others will change, but life goes on. Feeling that distant connection is normal. It may get better over time. Right now focus on yourself at college. You can take care of this at some other point.
