SCENE: A typical day in an unnamed store at the mall, around 10:45 am
CHARACTERS: A teenage girl and her mother, the store clerk
The mother and her daughter approach the checkout counter. The store clerk smiles brightly and begins ringing up their items. They chatter inanely at first about the items they are purchasing.
Clerk: No school today?
Girl: Oh, well, I'll do some when I get home.
The clerk gives her a blank look before eying the mother suspiciously.
Girl: I'm homeschooled.
The clerk looks stunned.
Clerk: Oh.
The clerk hurriedly rings up the rest of the items. The smile is gone from her face.
Welcome to a typical day in my preteen and teen life. I was homeschooled from fifth through twelfth grade and pretty much every time I left the house, I'd have an interaction like the one above. Sometimes the cashier would ask about homeschooling, but they often had a judgmental tone. Even my doctor seemed skeptical and asked questions about my friendships that had nothing to do with my health.
But guess what? I turned out pretty normal (which is honestly such a relative term). So now I'm going to clear up some stereotypes about homeschoolers. Obviously, some homeschoolers are like this - otherwise the stereotypes wouldn't exist - but the vast majority are indistinguishable from public schoolers (except you'll find homeschoolers out and about in the middle of the day).
1. We don't wear jean jumpers.
Or jean skirts (very often). Most days, I'd stay in my pajamas until we left the house. My co-op required a uniform of polo shirts and jeans/khakis or long skirts. When I did leave the house on other days I'd wear, depending on the weather, T-shirts, shorts, jeans, leggings, blouses, whatever I wanted to.
2. We watch TV and movies.
Our parents may monitor our choices (AS PARENTS SHOULD), but I was allowed to watch TV as long as I'd finished my schoolwork for the day. I grew up on Disney Channel shows and reruns of Full House, The Cosby Show, and Little House on the Prairie. We had an entertainment center full of VHS tapes and DVDs. I'd go to the movie theater with friends. Which brings me to...
3. We have friends.
And I'm an only child, so you can't argue that my siblings were my friends. I made friends at church and also at the homeschool co-op I attended. We'd see each other at those places, go to each others' houses, and meet up at the movie theater, the mall, a restaurant, wherever. Other homeschoolers join community activities and make friends through those. Plus, a lot of homeschoolers are better socialized than public/private schoolers, since they choose their friends and not just based on the convenience of who's in their classes and who they're stuck with for eight hours a day/five days a week.
4. We use the Internet.
I'll tell you a secret: I was super into Webkinz back in my preteen years. I didn't get a Facebook until I was fifteen, but for different reasons than because I was homeschooled. I could do research for projects with the computer, and it was useful for keeping in touch with my friends who lived farther away. Plus, a lot of homeschoolers use computer programs and online schools.
5. We have jobs.
I'm not talking jurisdictions like the Duggars have. Homeschoolers, like public/private schoolers, often get jobs outside their homes once they turn fifteen or sixteen. I've had friends work at restaurants and stores. They help with landscape businesses. I did childcare and dogsitting, and I volunteered at our local animal shelter.
6. We don't practice courtship.
Our parents may have rules about our dating lives, but not one of my friends has to be in a courtship. Many of my homeschooled friends have had boyfriends, and they go out on unchaperoned dates. Also, a lot of us leave home before we're married. We don't sit around waiting for our future husbands (or wives); I wouldn't be at college, if that were the case.
7. We're not all super nerdy.
Sure, some of us take AP classes and/or graduate early, but some of us get perfectly average grades. (Not me, though. I was pretty much a straight A student.) Similarly...
8. We don't get all A's.
A lot of people think, because our parents grade our work, they make sure we get straight A's. So not true. I usually got A's on my homework because that was easy. But I would get B's and even C's on quizzes and tests. AND, I took online courses that would automatically grade my assignments. Plus, my teachers at co-op weren't my parents, and they didn't practice favoritism.
9. We actually do schoolwork.
I didn't sit around all day and watch TV. However, since I didn't have to wait for the teacher to drone on or other students to complete their work, I'd be done by noon a lot of days, which meant I got to do fun stuff the rest of the day.
10. We're not all rednecks.
I grew up in the 'burbs, and that's honestly where a lot of homeschooled students live. Sure, some live way out in the country, but even those aren't all rednecks.
11. We're not all super shy.
I'm probably the wrong person to address this stereotype because I am pretty shy. A lot of my friends at co-op, though, were super outgoing. We do have socialization.
12. We're not all religious.
I can't speak to this stereotype very well, either, because my faith is very important to me and my co-op was Christian. A lot of homeschoolers, though, choose homeschooling for educational reasons, or because their parents move around a lot, NOT because our parents didn't want us going to the "devil government's schools."
13. We're not sheltered freaks.
I know who music artists are, and what specific movies and TV shows and books are. I just choose not to listen to that music, or watch that show, or read that book. My parents have some influence in my decisions, but they want me to well-informed and a competent adult. I can't be one, if I don't learn to make my own choices. I know what reality is, and I can acclimate myself to it, if I so desire.
So if you've thought these things about homeschoolers in the past, it's time to rethink things. The next time you meet a homeschooler, get to know them! You'll probably find out they're not so different from other kids their age - except perhaps better socialized, more prepared for college and the real world, and more respectful.
