Ever asked yourself how you'll know you're ready for another relationship? Are you scared? Scared of putting trust in others and trying again with someone new after having your heart broken after so many new times. You try to figure out why your last relationship didn't work out, but dwelling on the past has never helped you, even though its the first thing you turn to. How will you know when you are ready to love someone again. The thought of this rush through my brain as I put myself out there again, after trying time over time.
Don't get me wrong, whenever you begin an actual relationship with a person, you will have to learn, love, and care for someone that you're not really used to doing. But you have to relearn what someone needs in a relationship. The wants that they want. The attention they crave. The love they are obsessed with. And you never know where everything might just fall apart. Maybe that's why relationships have never been good for you and I. Even the word 'long-term' scares me. The only long-term thing I know is family, which is now broken from a divorce.
Throwing myself into a new relationship takes me a long time to get adjusted to and when I start to feel comfortable everything falls between the slips of my fingers. My past relationships have ended because of distance. But why? "It's not you, it's me..." The number of times you've heard this is absurd. Distance doesn't know anything when love stands in the way. Just like Vanessa Hudgens once said, "Long-distance relationships are hard no matter what. When you don't have face-to-face time, it's just different." Distance is hard and no none said it would be easy. But you're here wondering why do I get myself into something that I know distance will just take away from me as myself. Or my partner leaves me again and leaves me in the dust.
How do you know if you're ready for another relationship though? Being broken once, or even twice doesn't get easier every time like you think it does. You do get used to it, you're numb to getting "serious" with someone again though. You might never know if they really want to be with you for the right reason or the wrong one. And that's the most problematic thing that I was to struggle with when I meet someone. You begin not to take things seriously and doubt yourself because one thing goes bad. From personal experience, every single time I put myself in a new relationship or the talking phase, something in me wants to run for the hills and not look back. But I know I could never hurt someone like that, not like others have done to me.
I believe the hardest thing for me to understand in a relationship is why must I get so close to someone. I just think that me being comfortable with someone is a blessing towards them. My biggest pet peeve in a relationship is having to be lovey-dovey with each other. I'm not one who loves loving someone in public or PDA. In Kelsea Ballerini's new song 'I Hate Love Songs', it is the perfect way to describe how I feel in a relationship. Maybe it is for you too.
In the end, you've probably never realized that you might have got yourself into a relationship and you haven't really thought about trusting someone else or loving. I've done it quite a few times but, I'm always scared of getting hurt. You fall into the same routine of talking, relationship, and the ending and they cycle repeats without you even realizing it. Thought or advice, make sure you don't hurt someone while you're hurting too. It's not the right thing and you might not even realize you're doing it either. Fall in love and get hurt over and over. It's the only way you'll ever learn.
