“You’ll burn in hell”
“It’s a sin”
I’ll pray for your soul”
These are just a few examples of some of the reactions I have received from people who I once thought cared about me and loved me. People I grew up in church with. Words that have left an impression on my mind, heart and soul forever.
Raised in a Christian household I was always taught that being gay wasn’t the right thing to be. In fact I had heard that it was so bad that God would allow you to burn in the pits of hell for it. So imagine being a young age of thirteen when you realize you think girls are way too pretty to stay away from, and also being so scared of yourself that you pretend those thoughts never crossed your mind. I also was taught that being scared is good. Makes sense right? You should be scared of the God that created the very essence of who you are. Wrong. The older I grew the more scared I grew, until one day I gave in. I kissed a girl for the first time and everything inside of my body exploded with excitement and for the first time in my life I felt like I was in the right place. However that wasn’t the only thing I felt. I felt guilty. As if I had betrayed everyone. God. However, I was the one who was betrayed. I was left stranded in the hardest times of my life by the church “family” I thought loved me.
1 Peter 4:8: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
Another big thing I was taught in church was that God is love. That is the one core thing I have held onto throughout the years. As long as I know in my heart He loves me, at the end of the day that is all that matters. We as Christians preach love and I think that’s why it was so hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of people hating me, literally hating me. It took a lot of prayer, meditation, and advice for me to finally come to the realization that those who have a heart for God, a REAL heart for God, are not going to disown their sister or brother in Christ. Since being disowned by a group of people who were suppose to love, I have since (it took years) I found my support system and real family in Christ and I am so thankful for God blessing me with them.
A sin is a sin
The Bible is full of stories, scary, heart wrenching, love stories. Intricately tangled in those stories are rules that God asks us to follow and anyone who has heard the story of Adam and Eve knows that no man is without sin. We literally spend our entire lives sinning and breaking the rules. God offers us His mercy and forgiveness, all we have to do is admit our wrongs to Him and do our very best to correct it, however, we will ALWAYS sin. I’m not a bible major by any means, but I believe that no sin is greater than another, and guess what? God forgives them ALL. Let him without sin, cast the first stone.
Let my Father do His job
It is in our nature as humans to be judgmental. We see someone who doesn’t exactly dress the way we would, or someone who maybe doesn’t smell the way we think they should. It’s easy to cast judgments on people without a second thought. In the end God is the ultimate judge. After all, He is the only one who knows our relationship with Him. So in the words of Salt n Peppa “chill and let my father do His job”
You are loved
This is a bunch of words I’ve blabbered onto a screen but my ultimate goal is to make sure everyone knows they are loved. I love you. God loves you. You are not alone. I hear you, He hears you. It is okay to fall in love with a girl. It is okay to fall in love with a guy. Our God still loves you. Deuteronomy 31:8 "He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
I promise it will be okay. You will be okay.