Falling in love is like jumping off a cliff.
In what world does love not come with every attachment? That's what it feels like, right? To trust someone else with your own life. To put someone other than yourself on a very high pedestal for a long period of time. That's how it feels in the beginning, at least.
It's like you're subconsciously signing the papers to a life-long contract. Not like marriage. But this is where the word "falling" comes into play. Falling is quick. You simply don't ever intend on falling slowly, even if that were possible.
As time goes on, these feelings grow stronger and stronger. Then, you wake up one day and you're completely trapped within thoughts of another person. I'm not saying it's a negative idea, but you might want to end up with a somewhat good person to play that big role in your head.
Love is a plant. You must water it every day so it can grow to stay full and equal. And unless you yourself are ready for such a large task, your plant will die. No matter how many seeds you plant in the garden, if each plant doesn't get enough support and attention, they will die.
Sometimes it's effortless, and sometimes it's exhausting. A detailed relationship needs a strong foundation and a drive to keep it going. It has to be something you choose every day, someone you choose to share all your faults and all your joys with. Sometimes we don't pick these people. But damn, if we did... life would be a hell of a lot easier.
Falling in love is different than choosing who you love.
But if you get the special privilege of getting best of both worlds, then this can be done simultaneously. Of course, we all have those bonds that are stronger than others, and it's possible to have that special kind of love a couple times throughout our lives. It's rare, it's admirable, and it keeps us wanting more.
Experiencing this love--or any relationship for that matter--will show you exactly what it means to love someone and to be loved in the same way. This is real. You gain so much love for yourself when someone else shows you how much you are loved.
Falling in love teaches you that you are capable. Not just for a relationship, but it will also show you that all you really desire is to be able to invest your love into those that invest their love into you. It shows you that people actually want to give that love back if you love them in return.
In my opinion, falling in love is single-handedly the worst connected feeling on the entire food chain of feelings. But it is also the most euphoric, rewarding, human capability that can ever be felt. The mood swings of those who are in the midst of falling in love parallel the behavior of drug addicts.
So why do I make it sound so awful? Because when all of the good things about love are threatened, removed, when it is ripped from under your feet, life becomes unmanageable. Quick enough to the point of having zero control. Something inside of you dies.
When you fall in love, you literally imprint yourself onto another human being. This occurs sooner or later. You have tunnel vision. You tend to share everything you are with everything they are. And when the love suddenly stops, you become frantic, disrupted, and confused.
When someone falls out of love with you, you experience the same resistance. This is an issue, especially if the other person doesn't know how to deal with the situation. When you fall out of love with someone, it's important to guide them away from you in a healthy way.
The two must accept.
Falling in love is trauma. An amazing, beautiful, disgusting trauma. A spirited resistance that we crave.
I've realized that until you can fully afford to take a beating on your heart, it's best not to come close to falling in love. It actually becomes easier to stay away from anything involved with the hurt. Caution is an understatement.
No problem! Instead, choose to put that love into yourself until you have the power to love someone else again. You can never go wrong with double the love towards yourself. Being responsible for another individual's feelings is exhausting anyway; thank God you aren't in love!
Love is a gamble. Both parties will be hurt and go their separate ways, or end up waking up together fifty years later. Roll the dice. But always give the love back. You can't hide yourself forever.
Love and be loved.
You're worth far too much not to share with another being. Love will always find you. Endure it, and know that you are capable to love and be loved again, even if it ends.
