My friends tell me that it's always good to be the person that cares less in the relationship. I couldn't disagree more. I think both people in a relationship should care equally, but that's definitely hard when you're in the beginning of a new relationship.
Today, I feel horrible. I was asked by my now boyfriend if I loved him. I'm an honest person so I told him that I do not love him, and it's not that I won't love him, I just can't say something that I don't feel. He told me that he is in love with me and that he loves me which is exciting, sad and horrifying at the same time.
It's always nice to hear that someone loves you. Whether it's a family member, a friend, a significant other, etc. It makes you feel that you mean the world to someone and that you're important to them. That's exactly how I felt hearing it, but at the same time I'm slightly scared. I do not have those feelings yet, partially because I fall a bit slower, and I'm more guarded. I know that when the time is right, I will be able to reciprocate those words. But right now I can't say that I am in love. I really like him and he means a lot to me, but love is so much stronger than that. At the beginning of a relationship, you're still trying to figure out one another and I'm still trying to do that. I fall a bit more each day, but I haven't fallen in love with him yet.
At the same time, I felt a bit sad after hearing those words, because I'm not sure if he was expecting to hear them back. It's not that I won't feel that way, I just haven't gotten to that point yet. I'll only repeat those three words to him when I feel that I am in love with him.
Also, I don't want to say that I care less, because I don't think that's necessarily true. I just think I fall slower so it appears that I care less. When the time is right and I realize that I'm in love, the words will just fall out. For him, I at least hope that he knows I really like him and am invested.
