People often say that it’s one of life’s greatest things to fall in love with your best friend. Often times, we are so afraid to speak up and say something. “What if they just think of me as a friend?” you ask yourself. The fact that you guys have been friends for what seems like a lifetime makes you question whether or not you should say anything.
Sure, the topic may have come up here and there. But, when it does come up, you feel so pressured that they will find out how you feel, so you quickly dismiss the idea then lie and say that you have no feelings for them. Maybe you tell another friend or two, but your real best friend doesn’t have a clue.
There have been times when they've been in a relationship and all you can do is stand by and watch it happen, because you’re afraid of what would happen if you told them the truth. “I actually really like you. I am actually in love with you,” you imagine yourself saying. How would they react? There are three possibilities: they get freaked out and stops being friends with you, they tell you that they understand but that they don’t feel the same way, or it turns out that they have the same feelings for you and you finally get to be in a relationship with your best friend.
As you’re considering the possible consequences of telling them about your feelings, you then go back to the question of whether or not you want to put that friendship at risk. Your best friend was your “person,” as Meredith Grey put it in Grey’s Anatomy. Whenever something happened during your day, you would pick up your phone and text your best friend about it. When you really need a hug, you know that your best friend is there for you. All these things run through your mind as you continue to weigh your options: to tell them or not.
Let’s discuss what could possibly happen. With scenario A, you would lose the first person that you told everything that happened throughout the day to. You lose the person you go to when you really just need a hug. You lose the only person who had the ability to calm you down whenever you were panicking. You lose your best friend.
With scenario B, your best friend reacts well to the news, even when they tell you that they don’t have feelings for you. With that being said, you two continue being the friends that you always were and you both accept the fact that nothing has changed. Or, on the other hand, things could get awkward now that they know how you truly feel. This option is truly a toss-up for how the result is going to turn out.
With scenario C, they confess that they also have the same feelings for you and you dive into a relationship. The relationship is the best that it could ever be. You already know everything there is to know about each other. At least, most of everything. There are always new things that you discover everyday about someone close to you. You have a happily ever after.
Speaking as someone who went through scenario C, but eventually broke up, things between you two will hit an all-time low for a while. But because you both didn’t want to erase each other from your lives, you find a way back to each other and continue with the original friendship that was there. They move on and date other people. When they ask you whether you were okay with them getting back out there again, you turn back right into the same decision that you had to make before: do you tell them that you’re still in love with them? With the decision being no, you lie and say that you’re over them.
“If you still love someone, even when they have been in relationship(s) after being with you and/or has hurt you so many times, that feeling is never going away,” someone once said. Are you stuck in this position? Will you ever say anything? Or will it just be the unspoken thing between you two?
