Life. No one ever promised it would be easy, but one can always dream, right?
So it's just been one of those days, maybe it has been just one of those weeks/months. You're wondering why life has to be so hard yet you are so faithful? See, that is just it. Faithful. Faithfulness is all you really need. It is all God wants from you.
You have done all the right things, you have said everything correct, you have even walked the way you're supposed to walk and yet here you are, disappointed yet again. But that is the thing.
God never once said it was going to be easy.
It wasn't until recently did I truly get that. It doesn't just literally mean easy. It means that even when life is hard, you can't give up. It means that even though you're doing everything right, you still may get let down. It means that just because you are doing everything in your power to live for Him, you may not get that reward.
Reward. That was my hardest pill to swallow. It was like I knew Christianity did not promise anything but a reward in heaven, yet I expected it. I had it all wrong. I thought — well, I wouldn't say I "thought," because I knew it was wrong — but I figured if my life lined up with His as much as it could, then I would receive some sort of reward.
Yet I was too blind to see my reward is heaven. Why would I want something less? Why did I expect anything other than heaven, when anything other than heaven would be selling yourself short? Heaven would be the goal, yet I was shooting for something way smaller than heaven. I was hoping for an earthly goal yet a heavenly reward.
Nothing compares to being faithful AND only wanting a heavenly reward. Doing both is truly serving Christ, without having the world in mind.