I was sitting in class the other day and listening to the discussion we were having on the book we had just finished, when suddenly, the topic seemed to switch. The class itself is called "Arts & Christian Community," where we basically study art history and the role that it has played in our Christian lives. In other ways, we are also focusing on who we are and why we believe what we believe. I attend Seattle Pacific University, which is a private Christian school, however, not everyone there is a Christian. In the middle of the discussion, a girl raised her hand and stated that she felt like the school was teaching only one way to worship God and that her version of worshiping Him was not being accepted in the way she hoped. Then, another girl raised her hand and said that she felt the same way. Then she continued to say that after she came here, she actually has started to drift away from God. She had attended church her entire life, but after coming to school, she stopped going. She said that she has started “thinking more for herself” and that she thinks the majority of proof for the Bible only comes from the Bible. She still believes in God, but she is in a stage where she is trying to figure out for herself what she believes.

I so badly wanted to raise my hand and say my thoughts, but there was not much time left in the class, so I didn’t say anything. The teacher listened to what they said, and she did not condemn them for their statements. She understood that they are in a place where they need to decide for themselves what they believed and what their faith will be.

After class, I stopped and talked to the teacher about this. I told her that it made me sad to hear that these girls feel the way they do. However, I do not blame them. Too often, parents just drag their kids to church and do not give them the proper resources and teachings they need to truly create a faith of their own. If children do not learn and study the Bible as they are growing, then it is really easy for them to leave the church when they leave home. It is one thing to hear a sermon on Sunday, and it is another to study the Bible for your own knowledge. Being a Christian is meant to be a relationship between you and God. Going to church on Sunday is not what makes you a Christian, and it is not what confirms your faith. Your faith is confirmed throughout your everyday life.

I myself grew up in the church. As a child, I was not a big fan of it. It was “boring.” As I grew older, I started to enjoy it more and more. The reason for this change was not because of a change in the church, but rather it was a change in my own understanding. I also attended a club called AWANA. In this club, I studied the Bible and memorized verses, as well as played games and created relationships with awesome friends and leaders. I began to gain a greater knowledge of the Bible, and in doing so, I gained even more of a love for God. I gained my own faith, not the faith of my parents.

Now, you might be thinking, “Oh, she goes to a private Christian college. She must have a great life and a lot of money.” I am sorry, but you would be completely wrong.

In my sophomore year of high school, my father lost his job. When this happened, we lost all of the benefits that came with it, and pretty much the majority of our income. He gained a contract job that lasted for about two years. However, during this time, we still had no benefits, so, no health insurance. Through this time, God provided what we needed. Things were definitely not perfect, but we got through those years. However, once my dad’s contract was up, things took a turn for the worse and it did not help that I was about to go off to college.

People questioned why I didn’t just go to a community college, but they clearly did not understand that the career I wanted requires a bachelor’s degree. Seattle Pacific University gave me the ability to major in visual communications, minor in Illustration, and also remain close to home. To this day, my dad still does not have a job. His unemployment benefits are up, and there is no money coming in. He is 54 years old, and no matter how hard he has tried, he has still not been able to find a job. Most places do not want to hire someone with as much experience as him. More experience means more pay, so most jobs like to hire younger people. It sucks. It really, really sucks.

So, how am I paying for college? Well, I have taken on three jobs. I go to school full time, and I work like crazy. Now, where does God come back into this? Almost immediately after I began school, I searched for a work study job. I went to the job fair and there was only one place that kept standing out to me. I talked with the representative from the Mercer Island Thrift Shop, and was almost immediately offered an interview. A few days later, I went in, and came out with the job. The only problem was that I don’t have a car at school. How was I going to get to work? If I had to, I could take the bus, but that would be over an hour commute. Luckily, my work is super great with getting rides for people, and this is when Zech came into my life.

I work every Saturday and Sunday, and so Zech would pick me up every day for work. We work together on Saturday, but on Sundays, he would pick me up before his church. His church just happened to be right across the street from the Mercer Island Thrift Shop. Zech does the slides for the songs at his church, so he would go early and attend the worship team practice. When I worked from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., this made it so I was still able to hear worship music. Then, things changed at the thrift shop and my shift moved to be 11 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. However, when this shift changed, so had my class schedule and availability. I was now able to work on Thursdays. I truly believe that this all happened so that I could not only gain more hours at work, but I could also start attending church again. By the grace of God, I was also awarded more work study funding at this time. Besides all this, God also opened another great opportunity.

My boss at the Thrift Shop happened to have graduated from SPU, and also graduated with the same major as I am intending. He is a great resource for advice and truly wants to see his college workers succeed. Recently, he has even asked me to work with and for him in creating art for his online D&D project. From this, I will be learning and getting more experience in illustration. He is also providing me with a ton of training videos and other resources that will help me gain more knowledge and skills. I am beyond excited for all the opportunities that this could potentially open up for me!

So, although life is tough right now, and finances aren’t great, God has still been providing for me. I have almost made it through my first two quarters of college, and I am sure he will get me through the next. He has done so much for me throughout my life, that it is impossible for me to not continue having faith in Him. You know that saying that goes, “God does not give you anything you can’t handle" - well, that is simply not true. Things do happen that we cannot handle, but if we remain in Him, He will get us through. Don’t ever lose your faith in Him. He is the ultimate provider.

To those girls who were questioning their faith, I pray that they will be lead back to God at some point in their life. He is truly amazing and the only hope that this world has. They should not feel discouraged because they have not been seeing the worship they hoped within the people they are around. They should just continue in worshipping God the way that they feel is best. There are so many denominations out there, and yes, even within our school, it is wrong to say there is only one way to worship God. We just need to keep our faith in Him. Right now in my life, I feel like I am seeing glimpses of His plan. I am so excited to see how it all comes together!