Unfortunately, it is fairly common to have certain people in your life that can be considered “fair weather” friends. They are always around when life is going smoothly, and are the first ones to jump in for a fun trip, party, or good time. Your time spent with them is always centered on having fun, especially when it is their version of fun, and you notice this more and more as the friendship develops.
It is very easy to maintain friendships when all is going well, but as difficult periods arise, the true level of friendship is displayed. You may have been there for your friend countless times, providing a shoulder to lean on or a sympathetic ear, but when it is you who needs this attention, that friend is suddenly scarcely present. The bad weather has rolled in, and the fair weather friend has, in today’s slang, rolled out.
For all of you who might be such fair weather friends, there are a couple of things you should know. The first is that, when things are going well, there is no better person to spend time with than you. You can be fun, outgoing, and everything a person thinks they need in a friend. So much so, that your friend never imagines that you, of all people, will probably be the one to hurt them the most as soon as they need you to be more than just the other half of your party pair.
The most important thing you should know, however, is that you are a very selfish person. Life is not fair, and you fully embody this phrase. You will let your friends take care of you, support you, and help you as often as necessary, but the first time they need for you to return the favor and be their loyal friend, you bail. You leave them stranded when they need you the most, adding to their problems and leaving them with much less support than they imagined. At a time when they are hurting or floundering and desperately need your help, you turn away, looking for a better time. Even though your friend is already down, you add that extra hurt and betrayal.
Then, once the storm has passed, you come back and feel that you should return to your previous friend status. What you fail to realize is that others have stepped up where you slacked off and will now have priority over you. While you chose to walk away during a difficult time, adding an extra layer of hurt, others cared enough to remain present. These are true friends, not just playmates, and they will now occupy your previous spot during the good times. These are friends who have earned trust and loyalty because they have demonstrated their commitment. Friendship is a give-and-take of being present for both the good and bad times, and you are only interested in what you can take during the good times.
Hopefully, as time passes, these “fair weather” friends will recognize their behaviors and become more dependable friends. The very qualities that initially drew you into a friendship with them still remain, and you will undoubtedly miss that relationship. Perhaps they, too, will miss the friendship and make an effort to repair it. Maybe that is some of the give-and-take required to maintain strong relationships. Give your friends a fair chance to show their true colors. Life is too short to deal with the “fair weather” sort…but it is also too short to throw away good friends. And always remember to be the kind of friend to others that you would like to have yourself.
