I should open with a fair warning; I use some scientifically accurate words in this article. Nothing graphic or vulgar or unnecessary, but accurate. Some people might find that uncomfortable, but I hope you read this anyway.

When I was very young, there was a disturbing event I had to deal with, one that I pray I never forget. It was a Sunday morning and I was in the car with my whole family going to church. Turning into the parking lot, there was an incredibly unusual sight: a man with a large sign bearing no words and no message. Only a large picture of an aborted human embryo.

Some context might be useful at this point. My church is extremely supportive of the pro-life movement. Many members are single issue voters, who will vote only on a candidate's standing with Oregon Right to Life. Even at this young age, I had a pretty in-depth understanding of the politics of abortion, mostly because I had a morbid curiosity, and so, armed with Google and two scientifically- and religiously-minded parents who had an “honesty is the best policy” approach, I sat confused at the sight of the man with a sign of an aborted human embryo.

I knew what he was, a pro-life protester, but my confusion was derived from the question: "Why was he protesting at my church?" And the answer to that question disgusted me. I learned that my church has a program, in which women who got an abortion and regretted it could be a part of. The program doesn't offer judgment or condemnation, only grace and healing.

On top of this, my church often partners with local clinics that deal with women's health and help unexpected mothers carry to term and set the child up for adoption or help the new mothers care for the unexpected baby.

These actions make me so proud of my church family. I think of this as what pro-life really means, and what the Christian Church ought to be doing with their resources.

But I learned that the man outside did not agree. I learned that these women who my church family loved so deeply, were not worth redemption in his eyes.

I grew to hate the man with a sign of an aborted human embryo.

And the pit, knotted and hurting now in my stomach, grew ever more present as I learned that my church was not normal, but an outlier in the pro-life movement. The notion of love, grace and, even, women's rights were exceptions and not rules.

The Christian community and the pro-life movement have failed in the cultural conversation about abortion. Our arguments have been totally unconvincing. In spite of the pro-choice movement's historical association with the eugenic pseudoscience and “racial betterment,” in spite of shaky arguments about the nature of human life, in spite of all that, Planned Parenthood and the pro-choice movement has a single, undeniably honorable, advantage. They give a crap about women's health.

Planned Parenthood represents the only, nationally organized, women's health care clinic. If there is a bump on your breast or you have a yeast infection, and the options are getting narrower by the second, I’m sorry but Planned Parenthood is the place to go because we have done such a great job teaching girls and women all over nation that that religious folk don’t care and will do little to nothing to help you.

I am a pro-lifer through and through and through, but I am also a feminist, and this reality that I am presented with makes me want to puke. I hate Planned Parenthood, but no one else is stepping up to make sure Jane Doe gets the help she needs.

I am pointing at the Christian Church right now. Where is our nationally organized, women's health care clinic? Or is that just not high on the priority list right now? We have bought into the fiction that abortion and women's health are linked and inseparable. Instead of attacking this logical fallacy for what it is, we just accepted it.

I am not trying to call out anyone specifically, but I would invite the Christan community to seriously consider what the goal is and how can we fight for everyone because I don't think we are doing a great job of that right now.