National Novel Writing Month (more commonly referred to as NaNoWriMo) is a super amazing challenge for writers of all ages and abilities to write 50,000 words within the month of November. It's a challenge I've wanted to take on for a long time and I thought that this year was the year to do just that. I had it all ready. I finally settled on the perfect plot, characters and title. I thought it was finally my time to kick NaNoWriMo ass. I even made this long and drawn out Facebook post about how it was my year to take on the ultimate writing challenge.
Long story short, I went strong for a week and then totally failed to push through.
Honestly, I was really ashamed of it. As I kept getting inspirational emails in my inbox from the NaNoWriMo community I would quickly click "read" and move on, letting the feeling of failure as a writer just build up without actually ever approaching my story again. It's safe to say, I gave up pretty quickly. Which I am not proud of, but it is the truth.
Maybe it's because the end of the year is approaching. Maybe it's because I am about to turn one year older. But I've been doing a lot of self-reflection, especially about my role as a writer in the world. Though writing has been the only thing I've wanted to do with my life for awhile, I've been feeling more and more insecure about my ability as a writer.
For a long time I've put up a front as this super motivated and confident aspiring writer, especially on social media. I try not to let anyone see my insecurities (let's just say it took a lot to even admit my failure of NaNoWriMo on this very public platform). Since I put it all out on Facebook for my friends and family to see I couldn't let myself face the fact I was "failing".
Yet I think my idea of it all is starting to change. Maybe the whole point of being a writer is not showing off everything you've done, but every step of the process.
The inspiration.
The struggle.
The failure.
The success.
So I failed NaNoWriMo. I stopped trying, I gave up and that's my own fault. I doubted my abilities so I waved the white flag of concession and let my insecurities stop me. But that's okay because that's what happens. Not every conquest started is a successful one (or even a finished one) that doesn't mean it should go unshared, you never know who is failing at something either and needs to know someone out there is struggling like them.
So I say, share your failure, shout it from the social media roof tops! There is no such thing as a passion without failure. If anything it is failure that fuels passion, fuels one to be better.
I failed NaNoWriMo.
But I haven't failed as a writer. I've only taken another step towards achieving my dream. Share your failure! Better yet, celebrate it.
