Failed To Autosave: The 5 Stages Of Grief
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Failed To Autosave: The 5 Stages Of Grief

Based on a true story about the worst hour of my life.

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Failed To Autosave: The 5 Stages Of Grief
Outside the Beltway

It’s 10:50 p.m. on a Saturday when you type the last two words for the essay you had put off for a month. It’s beautiful – the quality of work is wonderful despite your excessive procrastination. As your mouse drifts to the save icon (the first time you have considered saving this essay), your computer dies.

And thus begin the five stages of grief.

1. Denial

Your heart begins to race. You’re heartbroken to say the least. “How could this have happened?”, you ask yourself, and: “I’m sure I saved a backup copy!”

Grasping at straws, you search through your recovered documents with valor, only to find that the essay is gone for good. You can’t believe it. It can’t be true! But alas, the past five hours spent typing your last minute paper have been wasted. You're distraught, yet hopeful disposition shifts to blinding rage.

2. Anger

It takes everything in you to not catapult your laptop out a window. You’re screaming profanities at the top of your lungs because those are the only words that seem to pass through your clouded thoughts. As you pace around your dorm, your roommate grows concerned. They are caught in the crossfire that is your rage. You become a two-year-old in the midst of a temper tantrum. This is a side of you that nobody likes, so you plead with the universe to cut you some slack.

3. Bargaining

“Dear God, I know we haven’t talked in awhile, but if you could be a bro and find my essay that’d be great," you say, as you beg the professor for an extension on the due date. You know your professor’s Starbucks order, and right now, that may be the only thing that saves you.

The excuses begin to flood your brain. You wonder if it’s anywhere near believable that your dog ate your laptop. If you smash your screen in, maybe they’ll buy it. You’d do anything to get that essay back, but it’s gone, and you can’t do anything about it.


4. Depression

It’s all over, and you’ve given up on existence. So what if the essay was half your final grade? You’re going to sob into a tub of ice cream until you feel better about yourself. In fact, you’re not even going to try to fix it anymore. You could continue to binge-watch Netflix, and a nap may be in order as well. The point is, you’ve given up. You’ve given into the merciless technology gods, and they have left you in shambles.


5. Acceptance

You’re over it at this point, the essay is gone, your tears are dry and your college career has ended. Rather than being obscenely upset, as you have been for the past hour, you begin to type a brand new essay.

As you finish your introduction, a glimmer of hope shines through. You forgot about the Cloud. You know, the thing you spend obscene amounts of money on so you don’t lose files. Silent prayers are said as you open your Cloud, and like a beam of sunlight on a cloudy day, your essay appears. It’s beautiful, and you submit it 15 minutes late after already having begged for an extension. Whatever, it’s not like you'll ever have to endure that hell again.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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