"We can't all be the best."

"There's always going to be someone better than you."

"You have to push harder than you think is possible because there's someone else that's waking up 30 minutes earlier, running another mile, and lifting more weight than you."

I've had three years of college and have taken more classes than I can count. The most difficult thing for me to learn was not how to study, or getting up on time, or remembering all of my assignments, but

Accepting failure as part of the cycle towards success.

As an "honors kid", a nerd, and a kid who just enjoyed learning, I was always under some sort of pressure.

From getting physically sick after forgetting my homework in fourth grade, crying over my first "C" in seventh grade, to forgetting an assignment in a course my freshmen year of college, I felt that same feeling of being afraid to fail.

This feeling of severe disappointment mixed with uncertainty and doubt is something that I don't think anyone ever directed towards me. I don't think that anyone ever got so mad over a mistake I made that it scarred me for life.

I do think that we as students are not allowed to fail and it's hurting us.

It's hard now, as a senior in college, to take risks with creativity in my work. It's immensely more difficult when I fear that I may receive a poor grade. So many of my peers who tend to also be A+ students, share these same fears. Our parents weren't tyrants and even reminded us that we didn't have to be perfect, so where does this terror of being wrong come from? What happened when we were growing up that could've shaped the way we view failure?

We're taught that if you don't follow the rules and do what you're supposed to do, you're not a good person.

In a kindergarten classroom, five year old children are expected to sit still, memorize numbers and letters, and begin reading. If you can't do that, then you're probably 'a little too active', or 'not a great listener, but have a lot of enthusiasm'.

In first grade, if you are not an avid reader, you're 'a little slower than the crowd', or 'not trying hard enough'.

In fifth grade, if you don't test well enough to get into the upper-level math for middle schoolers, then 'you're just not good at math, but math is hard'.

If you don't take honors classes in middle school, you're not 'acting like the high schooler you'll want to be' or 'preparing yourself for the next level'.

If you don't take every honors and Advanced Placement class in high school, then 'you're not setting yourself up for success', 'taking the easy way out', or 'don't care about your future'.

"If you're not ahead of the curve, you're significantly behind."

We're taught that it's not just enough to get a certain grade.

If you don't get all the problems on the math sheet correct, you have to do all of them again. If you don't make a 100% on your vocabulary test, then you can't move forward to the next set of words like some of the other kids.

"You have to get it all correct or it's just all wrong."

We're taught that some people are good at certain things and they are just smarter than everyone else.

If Johnny does really well in his math class, and Susie needs some extra help, that doesn't mean Johnny is any smarter than Susie. But it will mean that the teachers will think he's a bit smarter and give him more attention.

For Susie, that's probably pretty frustrating because she's working just as hard as Johnny is, and she's going to after school tutoring so she can get her work done.

"Book smart equals intelligence and competence."

So, how can a young adult handle failure?

We can stop learning just for the grades. We can stop learning to show off. We can stop measuring our worth by our GPA's. We can stop measuring the future by how much we have planned. We can stop learning for ourselves, and learn in order to serve. We can learn to improve ourselves and our abilities. We can measure our worth by how much we positively impact the world around us. We can measure our readiness for the future by our excitement for the unknown and our willingness to be open to all the possibilities. We can truly aspire to be lifelong learners, who know that failure is one step in the cycle to success.