Over the past week I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't show it, but I'm a pretty sensitive person. The anxiety of the upcoming change of going back to school has made me a wreck. It is true I am beyond excited to go back for so many reasons listed in my other article 7 Reasons I Literally Can't Wait To Go Back To Houghton College. The problem also isn't not wanting to leave home. I love my family, but I need my own space. I think what is causing my anxiety is the fear of change. I had such a great freshman year, and I'm afraid this year won't live up to that.
I was on Pinterest.com looking through pieces of poems and quotes by distinctive authors. I love Walt Whitman, and one quote I saw from him was "Keep your face always towards the sunshine and the shadow will fall behind you". This really struck me because I tend to focus on the negative aspects in life. I have decided to find the sunshine and turn away from my shadows.
I was on the softball team for the first half of the season at Houghton. That gave me quality time with some of the best people I could have possibly met. I am going to miss not practicing with them everyday, but I still gained great friendships out of the program and cannot wait to create greater bonds with these people.
Last semester I had a room to myself. Now I am switching dorms and will have two roommates. I love them both dearly, but I have to remember that even when I'm in the worst of moods, I can't get annoyed over every little quirk, because I have quirks of my own too. I have to learn how to live with people and I'm up for any learning experience!
18 credits, does that seem like a lot? Yes, yes it does, but I know that I can do it. I have the confidence in my abilities. Plus one credit is a trip to Germany. I've wanted to go to Germany ever since I knew what it was!
If I do complete all 18 credits, I will be a Junior by the spring semester. That means I have to declare a major a semester sooner than I thought. I know I want to major in history, but do I also want to major in humanities? Or should I double major with English, or writing? What about just a minor? There are so many options, but I just need to talk to my advisor and spend some time in prayer about the situation and it will all turn out.
I've already mentioned that I made great friendships last year, but now I am going back knowing that one of my dearest friends will not be returning. Social media is great though. I can keep up with her, and she is going to a school which is better for her major, so I'm happy for her. Now I'm worried other friends will leave, but I have to remember a true friend never leaves.
It's hard to look at the bright side of things all of the time. Everything can bring you down, even music and books which I know a lot of people go to for solace. Maybe I shouldn't be reading Les Misérables? My point is, try to look on the brighter side, even if it is just for a day.