When you scroll through my Facebook or Instagram, it may look like I have it all together. I travel cool places, I have an awesome boyfriend, my sorority is amazing. It seems like I don't have a care in the world. It's all smiles and Jesus-loves-me-this-I-know.

I'm writing to tell you, that's a lie.

The truth is that I am extremely critical of myself, stress over the future, rarely go out, and yes, even sometimes doubt my faith. You might see me fundraising for philanthropy in pictures, but you don't see the ugly selfish pride that lurks inside of me. You don't see my family issues, and you don't see my crippling nature of being a people pleaser. It's okay for you to see when I'm having fun, but god forbid you see my loneliness. Maybe if I can doll up the surface enough, I can distract you from the mess on the inside.

I think we all understand on some level that social media can be deceiving. People are multifaceted, and you only see the shiniest side on the internet. But even in real life, when someone says, "hey, how are you?" do you really answer them? Would you really say, "I'm a mess and can't pick myself up," or would you say, "Good!" and carry on? Do we have any relationships with real depth?

Why are we so afraid of being vulnerable with each other? Are your flaws really so shameful? Are we afraid others will judge us if we get drunk or don't drink, have sex or are virgins? I think one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that we're all alone, that we're the only one, urging us to hide, to fake it, to blend in. This is often followed by another big lie: that everyone is watching, and everyone cares. 

We think, "If I could be like that, then I'd be happy. If I had this, then I'd be satisfied. If I got grades like her, had more friends, looked like that..." Our hearts have a hole, and no matter how much we try to cram in, it all drains out eventually, leaving us empty. We chase after the next thing, the next trend, the next guy, hoping for a fix. It's like putting duct tape on a broken arm. We boost ourselves up, only to find that there's always someone who's better, smarter, prettier.

I'm writing to tell you that it's okay to not be okay.

I'm writing to tell you that your worth is not based on what you do, but who you are. And who you are is a real, flawed, hot mess, who has good days and bad days, just like the rest of us. You don't have to be ashamed of your past or your choices. You have the choice whether to carry around your baggage or not. We all have it. Some of us just left the extra weight behind. You can too. And if you're not ready to let go? Well that's okay too.

It's okay to be broken. We all are.

So put down your burdens, the pressure to succeed, the anxiety. You're not fooling anyone. I feel it the same as you. You're not perfect, you never will be, so stop trying to be. Just be you. Maybe if we all cultivated a sense of acceptance and respect for ourselves, regardless of how we might temporarily feel, we could extend that same grace to others. Maybe we'd have less hate, less judgement, less self-obsession. Maybe all we need for a revolution of how we view ourselves, is the first honest open step into the light. 

Let's begin a movement of transparency. Dare to doubt your self-doubts. Let's be okay being #imperfect.