This summer has been very different from all of the summers in my life. One, I’ve never spent as much time with the Lord as I have this summer, changing my perspective on everything in my everyday life. And second, I’ve never been as alone as I am this summer.
It’s taken me until now, just shy of two months, to appreciate it. Typically, we think being alone as a negative state of being, or at least I did. I have always been the type of person to thrive in high-energy situations, surrounded by people and things. I have always sought a relationship because when all of the commotion dies down and life becomes quiet, I resonated in knowing I still had one person to be with. I guess until now I’ve never really experienced what it’s like to be completely alone. Now don’t get me wrong, I still live with my parents and am surrounded by my family throughout the day, but my dad goes to work, my mom has errands to run, and my sister is fulfilling her clinical trial. So most of the time, yes, I am alone.
I’d be lying if I came out and tried to write this article saying I have always believed the angle that being single and alone is the best thing for “finding yourself” and discovering who you are because there have been many times that it has been hard. Because of my desire to be in populated situations, the alone time I have experienced this summer has led to intermittent loneliness and sadness. Both are inevitable in life but I have always hated feeling either way.
Just recently, I’ve begun to change my idea of being alone. What I haven’t realized about this summer is how much I have learned, discovered about the world, appreciated, and become passionate about. I’ve had the time to take an online class and realize how much I am so interested in the world of marketing. I have experienced true peace and tranquility in the beautiful gift of nature God has blessed us all with. Through the loneliness and the sadness, I have learned how to get myself out of those states without the help of someone else. I have felt a natural and unpolished happiness from a cup of coffee and a good book. I have been able to reach out to the people outside my community that I may have before been “too busy” to contact. Most of all, I have had time to pray. Pray for those who are off doing incredible things in incredible countries and pray for those who are right down the street from me struggling every day. It is almost freeing to know you have no obligation to anyone, no one to tend to besides yourself. It is also incredible to learn that through the sole efforts of yourself, you can have amazing experiences, and control your own emotions, without the dependence on another’s efforts.
The other day I was trying to remember all of my summers and thinking about which ones would be the most memorable. I thought to myself that this summer would be a summer to forget because it has not been extravagant and full of trips to Europe or the islands of the Caribbean, but then I reconsidered. If this summer never happened, I never would have learned the blessed beauties that are in the times when we are alone. There will always be times in all of our lives that we are alone. Who knows maybe this is my time, but maybe there are many more to come. All I can know is that I will greet them with wholesome thanksgiving for it is a beautiful time in life.
In the end, I think there is a lot to say about one, finding satisfaction in the presence of the Lord in your life and two, finding satisfaction in the presence of your own company. I also think great things come to those who don’t need others to help them find value in their own lives because they have discovered it themselves.
