College commuters live a remarkable life. They are able to balance the stress of attending college while managing the disadvantage of not living on campus. Few understand the struggle of a commuter like I do. I have been commuting to college for most of my life which makes me the most credible authority on this topic. I will be your professor of College Commuting 101, here to teach you the concepts and skills in becoming an A+ commuter just like me.
The Actual Commute
When living off campus you may have a long drive ahead of you to get to school. Drive times may range from a few minutes, to days, depending on where you live. The only way to figure out the optimal time to leave for school is to play a game of “Marked Tardy for the Party." To play, simply see how late you can leave your house, arrive to class and still be marked on time by saying “Sorry I’m late, I was stuck in traffic.”
The Escape Route
Leaving immediately after class ends is the number one priority for the college commuter. It’s important to spend as little time on campus as possible while still being considered an “Active Student”. That is why smart parking strategies must be taken in order to cut departure times as much as possible. The closer you park your getaway car to class, the sooner you can make your escape back to your secret lair.
The Mysterious Man of Mystery
Making friends is one of the most critical parts of the college experience. That is why you do not want to seem like a total weirdo by trying to start conversations with strangers. Just like dating, it is important to play hard to get. When placed in a group project it’s important to miss the deadlines so your teammates will try urgently get in touch with you. Reply with a funny joke or the required material and you will be winning them over in no time. The less people see you the more they will WANT to see you.
The Cool Friend
Did your parents ever take you to bring your kids to work day? Well now it is time to return the favor. If you are a commuter you probably don’t have many friends on campus yet, so you must give the illusion as if you do. Have a parent dress as a cool kid and have them accompany you to your most populated class. Soon, you will become the most talked about guy in school! (Note: If your Dad starts becoming more popular than you, send him away to Italy to “study abroad”.)
The Dining Hall
Being the coolest person in your class can get exhausting so it is very important to stay energized by eating a healthy diet. Make a trip over to Mom’s Dining Hall to have a feast on a budget (Mom’s budget).
The Study Space
It may not seem like it but you are not just in college to go to parties. You have to pass your classes in order to get a degree. Find a nice quiet place in your home that can be your designated study space. This is a much better alternative to the commotion of the campus library. I hear it’s full of eagles.
The Social Butterfly
Campus events are a really great way to get involved with your community and make friends around a common interest. Sometimes you will get a free T-Shirt just for showing up. Alternatively, if you can’t be bothered to attend on campus events make your own! Host an ice cream social to make new friends and get connected!
