Let me just start off saying one thing, 2018 held so much great things for me. I graduated from college with a Communications degree, I was able to go home and really explore exactly what I wanted. Then about 4 months after moving home, I decided to pack my things into my tiny car, head up the coast and landed in Oregon. Oregon has been nothing but great to me, but I feel as though it is not where I am suppose to be at the moment. January 1st, 2019, I decided that I want to keep exploring the world and what the world has to offer me. Soon I am going to be picking up my things and heading out to Arizona. Moving to Oregon has shown me that I am a bird and my wings are wanting to soar and feel the wind beneath me. As a 22 year old, I feel as though I have so much time to get it together and find exactly where I am suppose to be and who I am. I have so much freedom and it makes me feel as though the world is my oyster.
Deciding to pack up and move 12 hours away from my family was not the easiest choice. I am such a home body and extremely family oriented. If I could spend all hours of the day and night with my family I would. However, when I was back home in California, I felt trapped. Almost like, if I settled into a life there after 4 years away from college then I would never be able to move. My heart was being pulled in two different directions. One was being pulled into staying with my family and not missing out on any more moments and/or memories. While the other string was being pulled in a direction that would throw so many different obstacles at me. I decided that it was time to take another chance on adventure. Allow myself to fall into the unknown the way I did when I left for college. The fear of being alone takes up every inch of my body, not of being independent but being away from my family. Due to that fear of not being with them, I did not feel as happy as I could truly be. So, I decided it was time to follow y heart and to put my wants first. My parents have done nothing but support me and push me to trying out different experiences and I am so glad that I followed their advice.
Leaving your comfort zone is scary. It is like you're leaping off a cliff into the unknown. However, the one thing that I learned about being on my own is that the unknown should be scary. It should be something that people fear but also something that people crave. Finding yourself in a world of unknown allows you to expand and experience. It has taught me that I am so much stronger than I originally believed. It showed me that I am okay on my own and that I can make a life for myself. More importantly, it showed me that no matter what happens home is always going to be there and I can turn around to go back if that is what I want. Because I decided to do this, I have found myself consistently reaching and wanting something unknown. That I welcome the unseen and that I will take on whatever life throws my way. However, the unseen has brought me so much good. It has showed me so many new people that I connect with and places I never thought I would see. Although, I still feel that I am walking through the dark and do not know what the future holds for me, I feel a sense of comfort in that. It gives me something to look forward too. Something that will take me by surprise and completely change my life for the good and the bad. Finding my freedom by just going instead of thinking has given me so many lessons in life. Taught me what direction I want to go in, instead of just being stuck where I do not want to be. It has shown me where I need to go next and to not wait for it.
If you are afraid of being on your own and finding your own freedom and life, do not be scared. My biggest advice I can give is to spread your wings and jump. Jump into the unknown and land on your feet. Bravery is doing the thing you are most afraid of, not allowing your comfort zone to confine you. The world has so much to offer; so much to see and experience. The people you meet along the way will always have an impact on your life and that is the best part. Finding yourself in new places and new people. I spread my wings and I did not just fly, I soared. I feel so free and I am so excited to see which dark tunnel I will walk into. Either way, I know there is a light at the end. One day, I will find my path but for now, I am allowing the world to take me and carve me into the person I am going to become.
