Gaslighting is a term that has been used to describe a phenomenon that we have all experienced, yet have never been able to explain. It occurs when in a relationship of any kind, romantic, platonic or among family members, one party uses the other's vulnerable emotions to manipulate them and make them believe they are the cause of their own frustration.

An example is when someone says something along the lines of, "it's your fault you feel this way because..." or "why are you upset about this? I didn't do anything, you're crazy." The accused will shift blame to the victim in order to alleviate guilt or to avoid an apology.

Repeated gaslighting is a common sign of emotional abuse and it shouldn't be ignored.

One reason it may occur more often than we realize is that the people gaslighting may not realize what they are doing is wrong. They may believe they are right, and that the other person's feelings are not valid. Regardless of how the gaslighter feels, the person who is hurting is always valid.

Whether or not the action that caused the pain was intentional, both parties need to communicate and understand what happened and how to fix the problem at hand.

Bring light to what they are doing. Explain to them what gaslighting is and why it's wrong to invalidate your feelings. Sometimes, it takes understanding the consequences of their actions for someone to change. If this doesn't work, maybe it's time to consider if that person is worth having in your life if they don't value you and your feelings.

Nobody deserves to feel like their emotions are a burden on someone else, especially when that person isn't willing to find ways to stop your pain.