If you know me, you are aware of my views on what us lovely millennials call “dating”—it’s almost nonexistent. The experience I have had is, well, not what I would consider ideal. Maybe it’s my age, my hopelessly romantic notions, or my naïve perception of what a being in a relationship entails. Despite the cause, I still have this fantastic belief that one day something has to work out. So, in the meantime, I decided to explore what kids my age do to meet someone that is “more than a friend.”
My choice of social media was “Bumble.” It’s called a dating app, but believe me, dating is not what the majority of these people have in mind. Let me describe the process.
After you make your profile, which consists of six photos and a short bio, you proceed to look through a multitude of profiles, most of which lack a bio (you are just creeping through pictures). When you find someone who you believe meets at least half of your expectations, you swipe right on your screen, or if the poor sap failed to meet these expectations, you swipe left. If both of you swipe right, you match (whoop!)
Once you match, the female has to initiate a conversation within 24 hours or the connection is lost. That is the main reason why I chose this app. If the 24 hours pass and the other individual really wants to talk to you, they can extend the 24 hours, but they can only do this once. Now, on to my experience.
The following are the rules I set for myself before I began my Bumble experience.
- I cannot swipe right if they live in Alma
- I cannot swipe right if they are under 21 and there are images of alcohol or they mention alcohol
- I cannot swipe right if there isn’t a bio
- I cannot swipe right is there are lewd remarks in their bio
Needless to say, I barely swiped right. Many users had a string of photos that contained an obnoxious amount of alcohol, a bio that expressed the desire to add a third person to their “love life,” or a profile that contained one extremely unflattering photo.
At first, I paid close attention to each profile. I noted what each picture entailed, the differences between each person, and what I could deduce about their personality. After a while, everyone blended together. Even the people I matched with seemed the same—I didn’t even remember that at one point they were semi-interesting to me.
In total, I talked to three people. Two of them were absolute bores, and the other was actually quite fun to chat with. He was very friendly, and he liked history, so he automatically won brownie points.
Apart from that, the experience was more comical than anything, but at the same time, it was slightly depressing. There were times when I thought a guy was quite intriguing: his bio made me laugh, he had pictures of his family, or he was a graduate student. When I swiped right and I didn’t match, it was a little defeating, and after a while, it was downright discouraging.
Yes, I was fully aware of the intention of most guys on this site, and no, I did not expect any results whatsoever. That being said, I don’t think anyone can help having a little optimism, or in some cases unrealistic expectations. It’s part of who we are, and this hookup culture leads us down a path of disappointment. The fact that I was genuinely surprised that one person wanted to hold a real conversation with me speaks volumes; people are becoming profiles and strings of messages. Where does that leave me?
