Almost a year ago, I decided to stop perming my hair, and go back to its natural texture. That consisted of me doing what is called, "the big chop," which is the removal of the damaged ends of my hair, leaving the natural, curly texture. I honestly didn't want to do it, but I wanted to try and see if I could handle being natural again. I first started perming my hair at eleven years old, and it was a habit to constantly touch-up my hair. Mostly because I hated having my hair combed, it was a painful process. Then one day, my mother and I had a one on one conversation in the hair salon and I wanted it so I did it. There were the disadvantages of getting scabs from it being on too long, or lost of hair when in need of a perm. I can't say that I can remember a moment when my permed hair wasn't "healthy". Personally, I didn't think I had a short hair cut kind of face so I never attracted to short hair styles. I literally couldn't imagine myself with short hair. I spent my perm hair process getting it to a good length and thick. Back to square one all over again and I couldn't anticipate how I'd bare the process.

Nevertheless I did it, I colored my hair red and made it to four months with a fro. Then I got a sew-in weave which defeated the purpose of going natural and wearing my hair out. After my hair began growing, it was just more convenient for me to not have to deal with my natural hair on a daily basis. It was at that awkward length somewhere between short and long, and I literally just didn't know what to do with it. I had even considered cutting it again, I couldn't bring myself to do it though.

I'm at the crossroads again, and I've began considering perming my hair. Everyone has scolded me and told me "Abort!", and "I've come so far". I've taken it all in but then I started reminiscing about the experience I had perming my hair and truthfully I couldn't complain. If it's all about the damage, heat damage is not that great either. Or maybe this is just me trying to talk myself into doing it. Its 's an ongoing debacle and the longer my hair gets, the more I'm tempted to perm my hair because I'd very much like to have the hair I had before the big chop. I'm stuck between perming my hair and having cut my hair for nothing.