I tend to get wrapped up in the city. When you live, work and do everything involving tall buildings around you and the sometimes over-crowded sidewalks, you tend to forget to stop.
Tim McGraw knew what he was talking about when he said, "What I wouldn't give for a slow down- don't you know."
Sometimes the best part of being human is reflecting on life, getting deep in thought and finding yourself lost in the middle of nowhere. There is a comfortable exigency in that, whether it be a drive to the suburbs, or on the opposite side of the state. Perhaps, you get lost in a different state or take an impromptu trip dedicated specially for this reason... either way, it is good to level. It is good to just breathe. The deepest of breaths sometimes bring the truest clarity. There is a certain understanding when looking for guidance even when you don't know who you want it from.
There is a deep sympathy I have been feeling for the people surrounded by lights... city lights. What I wouldn't give to trade it out for the moon and the stars for a little while. In every aspect of following my dream, I believe it necessary to find yourself a promising, quiet, enduring place where you can relax. For myself, I find it at a nice calming hotel in the middle of the creeks and trees, fireside, with an atrium hot tub and indoor pool. There lies the freedom to wonder. There is where I get lost in the surrounding wilderness while still in a small town... Just in case the need for a free-spirited, worry-free, good night out comes about. Myself, sometimes in need of a someone among other strangers to talk to.
Recently, I did just that. I needed to break free from the worry, the on edge stress that sometimes comes with being an adult. I went to a small town, I went to one area in particular as the place I chose was not by mistake. While out there, I visited my grandparents grave, as I was close with them. I miss them and it doesn't seem right that I no longer go to the country house for Christmas anymore. I won't have Thanksgiving at my grandma's. Those were some of the best years of my life.
As I was sitting in the graveyard, I stared out into the green, the trees, the thick brush... thinking of them. The memories and stories they told were extraordinary. It seems every character in a tale always starts out with a story. I miss my grandpa and grandma. These two people were such extroverts with interesting stories and such wisdom. I looked up into the sky and then I started thinking about the most recent person I lost — my mother.
At this point, I am staring at the two gravestones. I am wishing I had somewhere to go to visit my mom, but everything was so recent. I stare out into the woods, not really sure what I am looking for. Wondering if my desire is to see a sign.
I am staring off thinking of these three people in specific; wishing I could see them again.
Right then, completely out of nowhere, three deer emerge. They walk out of all the trees and begin walking toward me, unhindered and without fear. These deer were not afraid. They walked toward me, toward the headstones calmly, slowly, without hesitance. I froze. The sound of hooves against the pavement, just the passing of cars in the distance throughout this small town. Neighboring houses disappear as I focus in and look one particular deer in the eye. We hold an intense gaze. Normally they teeter away from humans...This particular deer was the only one to keep walking in my direction, as the other two had stopped walking. This deer came closer. She came closer.
We sat there looking at each other for some time and before I knew it 20 minutes went by. The deer at this point decide to eat and prance around. The other two leave me, but this third one falters. This third one left back into the trees but then came back to the road for one last glance. She only left after I did, as I was driving away in my car. As I look back in the mirror, I realize that this town is not "known" for sighting deer.
The river and the valley has the normal river wildlife habitat you think it would. I sit there in curiously and in wonder. I have this pull to go back at the same time, each day.
I haven't.
However, if that is not a feeling of hope, I am not sure what is. It was the pure and utter happiness I needed in that moment. That was a great joy that filled my heart.
Some stories stick with you — don't they grandpa, grandma, mom? The stories you pass on as time moves on... You remember each one forever, even if it's only for a moment.
