“We are so confused as to why you invited us here…”

I was completely embarrassed. I invited a group of friends to this gig that I was invited to. I was looking forward to just having a relaxing night with a cup of coffee and some good music. Apparently, brewing/brewery doesn’t mean coffee shop (just so you know - if you didn’t). I went to Innovations Brewing with the expectation of a coffee shop. It's not a coffee shop… And side note, my friends weren't upset, they thought it was funny that I would invite a group of people to a bar especially when I'm not even 21 years old.

Oh, the disappointments of expecting coffee…

Seriously, though expectations are so overrated (my thoughts). Why is it that we expect things a certain way and when said expectations aren’t met, someone takes the fall. In this case, it wasn’t so bad (but still…).

People say that it’s better to live with no expectations that way you’ll never be disappointed. To expect is to have an idea of what people should be doing or how they should be acting and when they don’t fit the images in our heads, we are left with anger, hurt, and/or frustration.

Now don't get me wrong, we do need to hold people to high standards (if they have shown previous patterns of being trustworthy, keeping their words, etc). Holding people to standards is a good thing. The tricky thing is finding the balance between what is expected, what we expect, and what will actually be given - based on the character of the person. I think it's obvious that we can't hold everyone to the same standards (but there are the basic expectations of humanity). It's also fair to give people freedom to show us what they can offer. It's a two-way street. Before we can expect anything from anyone, we have to know what they're actually capable of offering and what they are willing to offer to us.

My point is not to contradict myself but to find freedom in drawing the line where it needs to be by giving people second chances, by protecting our hearts, by living with the knowledge that people will fail us and we will be disappointed but we shouldn't be surprised (not because of the person but because people weren't made to fulfill all our needs). Of course, this still doesn't veto the pain of disappointments and sadness that comes with it but it does provide a different perspective. We need to know what is expected but also prepared to extend grace where it's needed.

So ending on that note, next time when you see a brewery sign, don't expect coffee.

RL.