Let’s not sugar coat this.

I want to live to see the day that my existence is no longer an act of defiance.

I get it, I’m strong for being out.

No, I don’t want to go back in the closet.

I’m just…

I’m just tired.

I’m tired of everyone looking at me to have my fist in the air, ready to fight.

That was never me, out or not.

I can still believe in something, but be tired of the fight.

This isn’t about politics, at this point it is what it is.

But I’m tired. I think, anyways.

Maybe I’m just run down. Maybe sad. Maybe I’m just cracking under the weight of it all. But I think I’m tired.

Everywhere I look it’s “Be proud. Be (insert sexuality/gender/race/religion). Be loud.”

But what if I don’t want to be loud?

Does that mean I’m no longer valid? Do I lose the right to be what I am?

What if I want to be proud and be (insert sexuality/gender/race/religion) from under a blanket?

Why do I have to be loud?

Why does it have to be a big deal that I’m attracted to who I’m attracted to?

Why can’t I just be?

Please let me just be.

I want my existence to be just that. An existence.

Not an act of triumph. Or an act of defiance.

Just little old me, cuddled under a blanket.

I just need a day. Give me a day to shake off the sadness, or the tiredness, or the weight of this. Whatever this is.

And if you’re tired too, that’s okay.

Don’t let anyone feel like you can’t be, or that you aren’t valid.

We can be tired together.

You always have a space to be whatever you are with me.

I will take you as you are.

Today we break.

But tomorrow we get back to building.

Until our existence isn’t considered an act of defiance anymore.