All throughout high school, I had three different kinds of jobs. I was a teacher’s aide, activities assistant at a nursing home, and an outpatient procedures assistant at a hospital, checking in patients to get registered. Those were all real jobs, but I had them through my school, and I had to do them to help pay for my tuition. So I don’t really count those as “real” jobs because I was forced to do them. But now I have the chance to work for my own gain and get the real work experience that I want and need. I have a fear of messing up and not doing the best job I can do, but I’m still very excited to start this journey.
My desire for independence is even closer now that I have a job. I’ll be able to take care of myself and stop asking my parents for money. A lot of college students experience this need to be independent from their parents so they can become real adults and truly “adult.” I want to be able to buy my own food, make my car payment, pay for my cellphone, and buy the little things that I want. Now that I’m nineteen, I need to start preparing myself to live out on my own, because I won’t be living with my parents much longer, as much as they’d like for me to stay their little girl forever.
Starting a new, real job is one of the most terrifying things for me to do. I’ve always had the comfort of having my mom or someone else there with me when doing something new, but this is the first time it’s all me. Who wouldn’t be scared? I’m pretty sure almost every eighteen/nineteen-year-old out there who has been or is in my situation right now knows what I’m talking about. That overwhelming nervousness welling up in your belly as you think of every possible scenario that could go wrong, or even right, pulls at every inch of you. Will I be good enough? Will I be able to meet the boss’s expectations? Will I be able to meet my own expectations? So many thoughts go soaring through the mind of anyone in this situation. My biggest fear in embarking on this new journey is the fear of the unknown. Not knowing what’s next kills me. I like for things to be so particular and in my control, but now, I won’t have any control at all. A very wise man often reminds me of an old proverb that says, “Progress rarely occurs in the presence of comfort,” which has stuck with me these past couple months since hearing it. I know I won’t get too far in life if I stay within my comfort zone.
As I start my new job, I’m looking forward to getting through my fear of being out in the “real world.” I want to be able to say that I accomplished having my first job and that I did the absolute best job that I could so it will help become a better person overall.
