The night had fallen, allowing the stars to shine bright in the night sky. I was sitting on the roof with my legs crossed, wearing my blue pullover sweater. The one I knew he liked the most. I was trying to calm my mind, when he came out onto the roof and sat next to me. We sat in silence for a few minutes, in which felt like an eternity.
He finally broke the silence. "How are you?" he asked me.
"I'm fine, I guess", I replied. I couldn't even look him in the eyes. I just looked down at my hands, trying to hold back my tears.
It had been a year since we broke up. It was a messy break-up, leaving us both heartbroken and without closure. Tonight had been the first time we saw each other since that day. We had tried talking a few times over the phone; however, that got us nowhere, ultimately just leading to us fighting.
"You're looking really good, Tess", he said, tying to make small talk. "Listen, I didn't know you were at this party. I just walked by and saw someone on the roof. The blue sweater caught my eye and I knew it was you so, I came out. I know you probably don't want to talk to me. But I just had to see you."
At this point, I was crying into my hands. I tried keeping it together for as long as possible, but I just couldn't. His voice, his smell, I just missed it so much. I wanted to say so much to him, but no words would come out of my mouth. All I could do was cry.
After a few minutes of crying, I wiped off the tears streaming down my face and I looked over at him. He looked good. His shaggy brown hair was gelled back like it usually was, his bright blue eyes were twinkling in the moonlight, and he was wearing his orange t-shirt. The one I secretly loved the most. He noticed I looked up, and stopped looking at the stars and looked over at me. We just stared at each other in silence. All you could hear were our heartbeats beating a hundred miles per minute. He looked down at my hands and grabbed one. I flinched, surprised.
My hand rested in his, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. The way he used to. We continued to sit in silence. I was looking down at our hands, but I could sense that he was looking at me, making me too nervous to look back up.
"Tess", he said. I finally looked up at him. "I've missed you", he continued. "I just can't stop thinking about you. Trust me, I've tried. I know things didn't end well, Tess. I'm sorry for that. I've thought about that day so many times, and if I could go back and change what happened I would. I just want you to know that I still care about you, Tess. I always will."
I couldn't process what he said fast enough. My whole head was spinning. The only thing that I heard was what he said next.
"Would you ever give me a second chance?" he whispered, his voice breaking as he said those words.
I look back down at our hands, his thumb still rubbing the back of mine. I've thought about that question at least a hundred times. Would I ever give him a second chance?
I tried to give him an answer, but so many things kept running through my mind. Our whole relationship, the good times and the bad. The fact that he would always make me laugh when I was feeling sad. Or about how he knew all the right things to say, especially when I was mad at him. My brain was spiraling out of control. I couldn't take it, I just broke down and started sobbing. He put his arm around me as I cried into his chest, rubbing my back as I cried. We sat there like that for twenty minutes. I finally stopped crying. I leaned back up, wiping my tears away with my hands. I look at him, face to face with saddened eyes.
"No", I said breathlessly.