Friday marked the anniversary of the day that would change American Muslims’ lives forever. Wait, what? Weren’t the terrorist attacks of 9/11 something that changed the lives of Americans? Yes, but the two intersect.

Our nation is drastically different today because of 9/11. Americans are suffering the economic consequences of the “war on terror” that followed the horrific day, and our troops are still on foreign soil, sometimes fighting an “enemy” that resembles their own families—innocent women and children.

American Muslims are suffering the consequences of 9/11 until today. That one day has changed our lives, and most people do not know. These consequences range from looks of distrust and hostility when we go out grocery shopping or to the mall to being “randomly checked” at the airport because we wear a headscarf, have a beard or have a “funny name” to discovering one day that someone in our community was thrown into prison under false terrorism chargers. These various forms of discrimination that we deal with on a regular basis are the result of a biased media and the uninformed general public.

The media has undoubtedly employed a number of tactics to propagate faulty information about Muslims, whether it is through interpreting our religious texts in the most ignorant and debasing way possible or by associating the actions of a few Muslim terrorists to an entire population.

Depending on where you go in the United States, the average American still believes FOX News when it comes to American Muslim sentiments about 9/11 and America in general. Some are more educated, and I am grateful for those educated Americans who cooperate with us to show the ignorant or the biased that we are not actually what the media makes us out to be.

Every year when this day comes around, the words “Never Forget” echo on news channels and websites. The first time I heard those words, I thought, “why?” Why do we have to remember this horrendous day forever? I was young and didn’t know better. But even as I got older, this statement didn’t sit well with me. I thought that to hold on to tragedy so adamantly was counter-productive for us as a nation. I was, as I am now, well-aware of the negative sentiments that this phrase carries with it. To many average Americans, it may mean: “Never forget the tragedy that our nation suffered,” and for the victims’ families, it obviously carries a powerful, grievous sentiment.

To me, it meant something like: “Never forget that Muslims are responsible.” I didn’t conjure up this meaning out of the blue, however. I saw the negative sentiment all around me. Every year that this day came around, I felt guilty for something I had never even done.

When we say, “Never Forget,” we need to ask ourselves why. What is it exactly that we need to remember about 9/11?

I thought about how this one phrase carries so much power with it, and then I realized that if we redefine the phrase to mean something more constructive, it will. We can use it to remind ourselves that terror can come from any religious group, from any country and that we have to work together to stop it. If this day is a time for us to come together as a nation in solidarity, then we must also make it a day to come together as humans.

“Never Forget” should be a reminder for us that the lives lost in terrorism acts hurt everyone. We need to educate ourselves about the complexities that surround not only this tragedy of our country but of many others. If America is suffering, then other nations are too, and another reality is that some other nations are suffering because of America’s foreign policy. It takes two to tango; in any given situation, you don’t just have a victim and that’s it. Our current attitude as Americans towards 9/11 is that of self-victimization, and that is not only unfair but also counter-productive. How will we ever move forward if we keep looking back? It’s something to think about.

One of the most important things that other Americans need to understand about Muslims in America is that the overwhelming majority of them consider the 9/11 attacks to be a heinous act of violence and the perpetrators guilty of taking innocent lives. We sympathize with those who lost their families and loved ones on that day, and their grief and anger are justified, but that anger cannot and must not be directed towards other innocent people. That is just not fair.

My sentiments about 9/11 are shared by many other American Muslims and people of color who are somehow being held responsible for something that they didn’t do, for something that was a tragedy for them too. These sentiments can be seen expressed in the Twitter hashtag #afterseptember11.

I’ll conclude with a personal story.

I was in 6^th grade and it happened to be the third anniversary of 9/11. We were in the mall parking garage and my mom said to me, “Take this off—don’t wear it today.” I was young so I wasn’t religiously mandated to wear the hijab or jilbab (a long garment worn over the clothes), but I liked to wear it sometimes so I did. I insisted and she kept saying she wouldn’t let me because she feared for my safety. I told her, “God will protect me.” She paused and I saw the worry in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped. I said again, “Mom, nothing will happen. God will protect me.” I was scared, like her. But with each step I took outside of the parking garage, I felt braver. I hadn’t done anything wrong so I had no reason to be afraid. And I knew that God would protect me, protect us all, from the extremists who, hinged upon their ignorance, set out to terrorize us.