One of the greatest disappointments we face in life is having to come to terms with plans we made that will never happen. Maybe we just lost the one we thought we'd marry, our dream college rejected us, or we realize the lifestyle we always hoped for is less of a reality and more of a pipe dream. Those in their early 20's collectively experience a wave of disillusionment - yes, the world is our oyster, but it takes years to reach a point where we can enjoy it. Maybe, after all those years of waiting and wishing and hoping, we realize seafood just isn't for us. Everyone encourages us to aim for the stars, but no one ever tells us how long it takes to get there or that we might actually land on an asteroid far from our destined target. Disappointment is part of life, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Maybe it has nothing to do with our hopes and we just want to be doing something else right now. Making it out of high school seems like an incredibly long process for some. Graduating college and realizing your starting salary will be minuscule while you "pay your dues" would make anyone want to fast-forward. As far as myself, I wanted to drop all my responsibilities and go travel the world and help people, but my obligations and empty bank account had me staying put, much to my lament. I wanted to be anywhere other than where I was and felt like I was wasting precious time.
It was in the midst of this restlessness that a family friend gave me the best piece of advice I have ever received: "You are exactly where you're supposed to be."
Her words didn't really sink in for a few years until I was stressing about graduating and finding a job and dealing with a lot of plans that were years in the making and had suddenly fallen through. But our conversation abruptly made sense to me one day.
I'm not a believer that everything happens for a reason, but I do believe that we can find a reason in everything.
I looked back at who I've become in the face of obstacles and loss in the past and realized that these bad circumstances were precisely what led me to being who I am today. Some of them I sill wished I could go back and change, but others had veered me off a course I didn't know wasn't right for me and pointed me in a better direction, though I didn't know it at the time. And finally it dawned on me: that's exactly how this life thing works.
I realized that even though my current situation was not what I'd hoped for and causing me lots of stress, one day it would all make sense. The years of low-wage entry jobs I was about to face would eventually prepare me for my dream career. The relationship I said goodbye to, though incredibly painful, would one day open the door for something that felt right. The loss of a loved one would help me appreciate everyone in my life for as long as I lived. My years of living paycheck to paycheck would remind me to always be humble and remember what is really important when one day, money wasn't so much of a worry. Everything that had caused me pain would become a lesson and all the things I had dreamed of and lost would one day lead to something better.
Everything we experience, good and bad, is part of our own personal journey. There will of course always be things we wish we could change and forget, but one day, it will help you grow into who you are meant to be. The trick is overcoming the restlessness of waiting and the idea that loss is always for the worse.
Sometimes, losing something can be the best thing that ever happened to you. The waiting for what comes next is exactly what prepares us for what is to come.
No matter who you are, what you are going through, or what you lost, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
